Cheated and Pregnant (Editing)

51

They both glared at me, arms crossed and mouth set in a frown line. Shaking their head they both gave me a disapproving look.

"You shouldn't joke around like that," Derek said scolding me.

"And you shouldn't have scared a pregnant woman," I said matter of fact.

"I'm sorry I didn't think about that." He said scratching his head. "I was just so excited you know and went overboard a little."

He did go overboard a little but if you asked me he went more than overboard he is already overboard. Look at the decorations, streamers, balloons, and is that a photo shoot area, a table with gifts and the ones that could not hold on it is on the floor.

"I can see that," I hummed looking around.

Josh POV

The moment she walked in it was like five years ago when I saw her coming out of that building. Her hair blowing in the wind, she looked beautiful then and she is more beautiful now. She is radiating a light brighter than the sun.

But when I saw him beside her I was filled with rage and jealousy. The jealousy I could hold on to but not my rage I couldn't, it was my fault that I lost such a beautiful star in my life. Stupid. Stupid. Why did I cheat?

And why with her best friend? Stupid. Stupid. I had everything and I lost it. I didn't even know when I started cheating. When the affair started and why couldn't I stop.

I wanted to end it so I don't lose what I already had it was just sex. Sex that went out of control that we did regularly when Rosie was not around and I'm such a bastard a low down dickhead. And my stupidity is way above the level of stupidity a person could have. Because how could I do something to her.

I destroyed her with my self-desire. I regretted everything, Tia had tricked me and bewitched me. Seducing me into her bed. I wish I never went over to her house that day. When she answered the door she shouldn't have answered it in her tank top and shorts then the next time in tank top and panty.

I didn't think she did it intentionally until now. It was like she wanted me to see her and for a while, I didn't until I did. I've been blinded by sexual desires or forgot about one of my organs that now beat painfully in my chest.

Did Tia drug me? Is she a witch? That I am now seeing the wrong that I've done and the damages that I've created now I've chased this beautiful fallen angel into the arms of another man. 

I must have been on some type of drug because how could I let her slip through my fingers. One minute she was there and the next she's not. I remember the first time I met her falling down the steps, she didn't look clumsy to me but graceful and as I reached out to catch her I could see her halo like an angel in the morning light.

One word describes her then. Beautiful. Then I let it all slip away just to quench desire something that she could have given me.

Now I'm bitter with envy. I'm not lying when I told her I love her. I didn't lie when I said I cared. I didn't lie when I told her to trust me. Somethings just happen and this felt like I have no control over it.

Stupid. I let it spiral out of control. I lost my focus. I can't bear to see her with him. What can I do about it? Nothing. I pushed her into his arms. I chased her away by cheating. And he seems to make her happy.

I should have chased after her. I shouldn't have made her created this bridge between us now it's too hard to cross not with the water coming up on both sides. She doesn't want me on her side again. Why didn't I run after her that day or the day after and after? Pressure her to make her stay.

I've never made so many mistakes in my life and acted like a fool. I should have faced her but the fact is that I couldn't. I didn't want to look in her eyes and see that hurt because I put it there.

I didn't want to see her in pain knowing I did it. I didn't deserve her or her forgiveness. And you ask why am I here today. I just couldn't stomach the thought of her with someone else and another man taking care of my child when I saw the picture of the both of them looking like they belong together. Two persons awaiting the arrival of a baby.

I couldn't sit around and wallow in self-pity, disgust, guilt, and hatred. I couldn't let that witch whisper in my ear again. And if you're thinking that we continued with the betrayal we didn't. She didn't leave when I told her to leave she just stayed. I should have cut ties with her but she hangs on no matter how many times I told her to leave me alone.

Now it's too damn late to fix anything. Who's fault is that? No one but my own.

"Derek, you didn't have to do all this," Rosie said waving her hand around the room frowning.

"I wanted to," the man answered with a smile. "And a thank you would be nice."

"But it's too much," she complained.

"Rosie just tell the man thank you and be done with it. I want to find out what my godchild is going to be," A woman that I've seen from time to time says.

One of Rosie's co-workers. She wasn't happy that I was here and once I had walked through the door and into her sight she glared at me not too subtly

The other people in the room didn't spare me a glance and stayed to themselves. I guess they know who I am and what I did. My presence was clearly unwanted.

Rosie rolled her eyes. "Thank you Derek, this means so much to me." She held his hand in her own smiling up at him her eyes lighting up. A light that I've missed a light that I put out. Now Derek has put it back in her eyes no matter how dull it may be it's still there.

"You know I'll do anything for you." Those words burn me they hurt me somewhere. I just stood there saying nothing as I watch them both. Like he's her anchor and if she lets go she might get carried away by the sea. Like she has seen too much of life, felt too much pain and he's shadowing her protecting her like he is her guardian angel. Protecting her from me.

It just hurt. I haven't felt this much pain in my life but I bet this doesn't compare to what she felt when she food Tia and I. It hurt to watch the two of them together but this couldn't hurt more than when I betrayed her added salt to the wound and didn't fight harder, I didn't find her and go to her when she needed me.

I just got to live with this, him and her. I know they're not together. But I can see it, they can't but everyone else can. I can't fight against it, it's too late to fight for her now, too late to want her back when she has moved on.

She doesn't know it as yet but I see it. I just wish I had done everything differently. Can't believe I let her slip through my fingers. After all she has been through, how she had suffered, now I'm the list of people that have done her great wrongs.

I was on the inside but now I'm at the outside watching everything on the inside that I'll never be apart of. I've turned the o looked now, to watch the love I once had be given to someone else. But I'm not going to fight it. She deserves better than me, better than what I've gave her in the past, better than what I've done to her.

If I had another chance I would do everything differently, if only mankind have invented something that could take me back in time. I would tell the past me to treat her like the queen she is and that she doesn't deserve to be cheated on. That I should be patient. I could see my future after with her if I hadn't been so blinded. We are a family and we're happy. Then it all faded and I'm back to reality with Rosie no longer mine.

I rub at my chest looking away from her and again I wondered if this is how she felt when she found me cheating on her.

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Authors Note: if you want to read ahead of others chapters 52 and 53 are already posted on Webnovel.

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