Cheated and Pregnant (Editing)

26.

"Why?" The word left my mouth without me consenting it but it's already out there I can't take it back.

I should have just went with the okay and look excited that I'm getting a raise but maybe all of this haven't registered in my head.

Maybe I'm in doubt or I'm trying to see if there is any catch to this. I know him. I know about his reputation around office with other woman and I'm not about to fall in his trap like everyone else except Melody.

"For your hard work of course." He answers watching me leaning back in his chair interlacing his fingers.

Well that's true of course. I do deserve a raise and it's really convenient since I'm looking for a place to stay and possible a car of my own.

I'm just hope there is nothing behind this raise but I can't help but think that there is. It will all clear up if I ask him but I don't want to and he can also lie about it.

Instead I ask. "Is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?" Please say no.

"Yes." Dammit. I wonder what that could be but I didn't have to wonder long. "Would you accompany to the gala tomorrow night?" He asked but I know that this is not a yes or no question but I would like to think it is.

"This is not apart of my raise is it?" This time I couldn't help but ask. Nothing is for free and I know that this raise would come with something else.

"No..." He said and before I could sigh he added. "...but I would advice you to accept."

"So it is then but what if I refuse." I added. He shrugged.

"I won't take no for an answer so it's a yes then."

"Fine." I gritted out. "I'll go to this thing with you." I said getting up. "But if you'll excuse me I have somewhere else to be." I didn't wait for him to response before I speed walk out of his office.

I got into my car and drove off to get to the first apartment. Once I was there I parked my car outside and got out. Just as planned over the phone the landlord meet with me on the floor in front of the apartment that he'll be renting me.

"Ms Robinson is it?" He asked once I was in sight.

"Yes it is." I replied smiling he returned the smile.

He used one of the many keys on his key chain to open the door. He walked in and I follow after him inside. He gave me a tour of the apartment and made his offer but I wasn't going to take it until I see the next apartment.

I left drive to the next apartment and went through the same process and in the end I chose the first apartment. The price is better, it is closer to work and it's what I can afford right now on my tight budget until I get that check with the raise.

I'm happy that I'm getting a raise but I'm not happy that there is something else attach to it.

I need the money yes. To prepare for this unborn child. But I'm not prepared to go out with my boss. Not now not ever with all this drama going on in my life.

I could refuse but again I need to money. Does he knows that I need the money? How would he have guessed? Who told him? Not alot of people know about my situation and my condition. So why would he offer me a raise and then use it on me to go to a stupid thing with him.

It was nice when he didn't notice me until he is shouting and asking me to do something but this is on a different level that I don't think I would be able to take.

Maybe I should call him on that day and say am sick. He couldn't hold that against me and if he don't buy it I could refuse the whole deal.

If tomorrow night never comes I'll be happier than a smiling emoji. I don't have anything to wear to the gala. That's a good excuse right?

I think I'll go with that one when he comes to pick me up that night. Wait. I think am forgetting something.

Oh. I didn't tell him that my address is different and I can't tell him that I am staying at a hotel. What should I tell him?

I have an apartment now we'll kinda but I don't have anything to move in with. I still need to pick up my things from the house.

Sigh. I don't want to see his face this soon or for the rest of my life. I'll have to just suck it up and go there. I can go there when he's at work.

Tomorrow might be a good time seeing as he works late on Wednesday. I would drop by pack the rest of my stuff through it in his car come back to the hotel to get ready to assist my boss at this gala. What else could I be going there to do. We're going there as employee and boss nothing more nothing less and if he thought otherwise he's making a big mistake choosing me.

There was plenty of girls in the office why choose me. Why didn't he go with those model girls that he went with all the time. There will be alot of cameras and flashing. I don't want to seen on a magazine or the internet if they ever decide to publish the pictures.

I'm still trying to stay under bridge and this would lead to people investigating the new girl the boss is with which will lead to my past and I don't want that.

Suddenly the raise don't look that much appealing or a choice I would want to take.

Just think about the disaster that would happen. The havoc those journalist would cause in my life when they go poking in my background that I've been running from all my life.

I wouldn't put it behind them not to make a show out of my messed up life. Who knows what else they would add in the mix.

I dropped myself on the bed. My back hitting the sheets with my hands sprawled out beside me while my eyes search the ceiling.

I don't think I could do this. I know I should have found peace with my past but the wound as just been aggravated a few days ago and it would be nice if it is once again the talk of magazines and so on.

My safe haven would be totally crush and I would have to get away as fast as I can. I try to find peace with my past but who can find peace with something that gives you nightmares for all of your life.

It keeps you up late at night afriad that he would come barging through the door to take a piece of a piece that you are. And where you finally fall asleep you wake up sweating, panting and screaming for your life.

That life painted in you life. A scar do deep embedded in your soul that no matter what it cannot be removed. It leaves apart of you broken, loss, that part you can never get back and you know you would never he whole again.

You're tainted the you that you once was before slowly fading and you find yourself giving up but somehow somewhere in your life apart of you still tries to hang to that part that has never been touch, you try to hold onto hope, hoping someday you'll be whole again but you know inside you never will but that doesn't mean you will stop hold on to the small part you have left.

It's not easy to relive even if it's only in your mind. What's broken is broken and can never be mend. What's lost is lost and can never be found. Sometimes it best you just leave a broken person alone so you don't break them more than how they are broken.

Trying to fix a broken person is like trying to separate sugar out of water or the salt out of the sea. It's not good to let them fester and bubble. It's good to be there to talk to them to ensure that they are alright.

You need to always be there to put them together when they fall apart. Give them a small space so they could breath. Let them know that you care and love them. If you don't they would just revert to what they once was.

Broken.

Hallow.

Lost.

Depressed.

Stressed.

Confused.

Sad.

Lonely.

Nothing but an empty shell.