All American Senior Year: Volume One

"Dear Grace" (Letters of Birthday's Past) Part Two

Grace sat on the kitchen table staring at the letter that she held in her hand. The only letter Corey had written her in the box. Grace sighed thinking back to every moment she had with him. Even though Corey had abandoned their family, Grace had always forgave him. Their marriage had been rocky, she knew the breaking point would have been sleeping with Billy. Grace had never been angry with Corey. She had just wished he would've kept in touch with Spencer and Dillon, but understood why he couldn't. In a way she'd been happy he didn't. With all that anger Corey had felt, she would have been scared her children would resent her for her mistake. Instead in the end Corey was able to forgive and heal from that moment in time. But also was able to teach Spencer and Dillon a lesson in life. 

Taking a deep breath, Grace turned the envelope around and slowly ripped it open. With her hands trembling, she took out the single letter that had been stapled together. The letter had been about two pages long. Carefully opening the letter, Grace took a deep breath before exhaling, letting her eyes scan the words on the page in front of her. And without another thought, Grace braced for what she was about to read next.

Dear Grace,

"It's been a while. And to be honest I was never planning to write you a letter. For a long time I was bitter. I was angry. I was confused why after all these years you'd sleep with the boy that broke your heart. I kept running through every scenario in which that would happen and yet I've failed myself to come to the conclusion. Making me more distant and pushing you and the kids away. Now I know that I was at fault too. And before you go and say I wasn't. I was. I pushed you away and closed myself locking and throwing away the key. When I was jealous of the people I knew were succeeding in a life I dreamed of. It made me so angry I closed myself off from our marriage and our family. If I could turn back time I would and spend more time with my boys".

"I would make an effort to keep family game night alive. Because even after leaving those were the days I missed the most. I remembered your competitive side and how everything had to always be about winning. I would remember when you got riled up when I would win. Spencer was so young and Dillon was too. Those were the good old days. If your wondering why I've only written you one letter is because it took me years to get to this moment. To be able to sit down and be at peace with what happened. And be okay to move on. I didn't want to write you when I was angry and heartbroken because that wouldn't be fair to you. And even though you hurt me I couldn't do the same to you".

"You were my high school sweetheart and even though at the end of our relationship, months before billy had come into the picture, I mentally had already left you. I was angry and blamed you for me not taking a chance on the NFL and actually perusing my dreams. That life and our family got in the way of what I wanted to do. But in reality, I just never thought I was good enough. Always comparing myself to Billies successes got myself deeper down a hole I couldn't get myself out of. Until it was too late and lashed out in anger. Grace I hope you can forgive me for those times. I didn't know who I was and hope you never have to remember me that way".

"Which is why I'm writing you this letter. I needed to tell you before I go. I needed to clear my thoughts and write to you that I forgave you. You have a right to know that even after everything that happened, I learned to forgive you with time. I just wished I learned that lesson sooner so that I could actually have a part in my children's life. And I know I can't turn back now. Time got in the way of us and before I knew it, it was too late. My pride and ego got the best of me to not knock on your door. But I hope you know that you are raising two fine young men. Teaching them right and giving them a soft side so when they too have a family of their own, they can think back to everything you had taught them".

 "I'm sorry Grace for leaving you alone, I truly am. But I know you came out stronger than you already were. But I'm most sorry for hurting our sons. For never being able to know their father like you have when we were young. I know it'll take time for the boys to heal and after leaving you guys again. I know it won't hurt any less but I hope this letter if you read it, will help you grieve a little less. I just hope it gives you the courage to stay strong and know that you're doing a fine job. Thank you for everything that you had taught me and I hope one day soon we get to rekindle our friendship".

"Until then. Take care of our boys and teach them how to not only be great men but also to be in touch with their soft side. Teach them how to cook, how to bake, how to sow, that it's okay to cry, and when they are down, teach them to talk about their feelings and not hold it inside. I know that boy Spencer gets it from me. And I'm sorry. Just be patient with him and give him time. I know me leaving him won't be easy. But I know you'll find some way to cheer him up".

Grace James, thank you for being my high school sweetheart, until we meet again.

Yours truly,

Corey James.

Closing the letter, Grace cleared her throat wiping the tear away from her cheek. She nodded slowly taking in the words she had just read. The last letter Corey had written her. She was glad that he did it. It closed a chapter in her life she kept open. Even after Corey had past, it was hard for Grace to move on. She wanted to grieve for the man, she loved deeply, but also for the man she hurt just as much. But with this letter, she could finally start to heal and help her sons knowing what Corey had written. The lessons he learned and the mistakes to avoid. Grace sat on the table for another long while before placing the letter back in the box. She got up off the chair and made her way to her bedroom. Grabbing the box of letters, she placed them in her closet hoping one day Dillon would be strong enough to read his letters his father had left him. Until then they would remain on the top corner shelf of her bedroom closet.