Let Me In

Chapter 9 - Math Help

"You make no sense Bianca." Natalie shoved a piece of cafeteria pizza into her mouth and moaned quietly. One good thing about going to a private school was that the food was fucking amazing.

Last night after responding to Julian, I just decided to go to sleep. A Lot had happened and I needed to rest. When I woke up this morning, I quickly got ready for school and Lorenzo came by my room and offered to give me a ride. I accepted, and when we made our way out of the penthouse, we passed by my dad's office. The door was open, allowing up to see that the wall and floor were spotless of blood. You would have never known what I did there last night.

As Enzo drove me to school, he was talking to me about something, not that I had a clue about what he said. I zoned out, thinking about that man and how I shot him right between the eyes. I felt better than I thought I would. Of course, regret hit me this morning when I saw the empty office. I was way out of line. I took an innocent man's life who probably didn't expect to get killed on the first day. I know I was wrong and I can admit that. But I think the real blame should be put on my father,

He pushed too hard yesterday and suffered the consequences.

I was feeling all types of fucked up about him. Especially right now. I was feeling emotional, hurt, disappointed, and even embarrassed that I thought things would go differently for me yesterday. The things he said, I didn't want to believe. If I did, then he would get what he wanted. He would discourage me and I would stop trying to prove myself to him.

I won't stop though.

I need to put all my focus on clearing up the mess I made, and that's where Julian comes in.

I can't lead him on or be trying to have a relationship with him when I'm trying to sort shit out with my father. I have priorities that need my full attention right now. That's why Julian was coming to meet me in about 5 minutes, so I could tell him how things were going to happen for us.

I explained my situation to Natalie, obviously in moderation. I told her that I need to focus on myself before I jump into anything serious, not that I really want to in general. She thinks I'm making the wrong decision, that I could be really happy with Julian if I tried and that he might actually relieve stress instead of adding more, I don't agree.

"I make perfect sense," I argued, taking a bite of my own pizza. The cafeteria was loud, kids talking and eating all around us.

Natalie raised her eyebrows at me before opening the bottle of apple juice she purchased with her lunch. She took a large gulp before saying, "The last thing you need right now is to push a good opportunity away. Julian seems like the best guy you're going to find at this school. Especially if we're comparing him to your past flings."

My past flings.

She definitely had me there. My past hookups were not...the most deserving if that makes sense. Most of the guys that go to this school are just rich, stuck-up assholes who don't care about anyone but themselves. Since Julian was new, he didn't know how he was supposed to act to fit in, so he was just himself. I hope to God he doesn't get caught up with bad friends and turn into one of the privileged idiots.

"Even if he is the best guy, i don't know how to be in a fucking relationship.'' I huffed and took a quick glance behind me, to see if Julian was here yet.

"Yea..." she started to chuckle, a wide smirk on her face. "You're just a girl who's good at sucking dick."

"Oh shut up." I scoffed, throwing one of my fries across the table at her. It ended up landing on her tray, so she picked it up and ate it.

Natalie ran a hand over her hair, fluffing up some of the curls. Her eyes seemed to shine even brighter today. The green and brown stood out as always. My gaze slid to her and she tilted her head to the side, a look of sadness on her face. "I wish you could see yourself as I see you. Beautiful, funny, amazing, and worth it. You deserve to be happy with a good man."