Let Me In

Chapter 35 - It's Too Late

"How are you awake?" I asked, watching as he tried to move away from me, but hurting himself in the process. He was too weak to be doing anything right now. "You almost died, Julian."

His eyes lit up, not with happiness to see that I was here and that we were ok, but with anger. The most anger I had ever seen Julian possess.

"You knew those people, didn't you? That's why they called your name." he was putting the pieces together in his head, I haven't even said anything yet. "Why did Raphael knock me out in the car today? It wasn't because he was angry, it was because there was something you didn't want me to see, am I right?"

He was absolutely right, that wasn't my main focus though. He was still injured, so he shouldn't be getting himself worked up. "Julian, please. Calm down-"

"Im not going to fucking calm down, Bianca. Why do you have a gun?" his voice cracked as he began to yell, and I was getting worried. He's straining himself

I was too caught up in what happened to think about his reaction. Julian was livid, and obviously scared of me, as he continued to scoot away, almost to the point where he fell off the bed. I reached for him but he pulled his arm away fast, letting out a grunt at the painful action.

Come on Bianca, think. What can I do to defuse the situation, what can I do to keep him calm? I didn't need this right now. Natalie basically cut me off, Julian is all I have left.

Things were going so well, too. I apologized, we kissed, we hugged and everything was good. I was so happy to have him back, I was ready to tell him everything. I was ready to explain how I felt, how I didn't want to rush and I knew he would have understood too.

But now it's too late.

"My family...my family does some illegal business. We have some enemies apparently. I didn't mean for this to happen, I promise-"

"I almost fucking died Bianca! I almost fucking died because of you!" Julian yelled, straining his voice even more. I almost couldn't recognize him with all the bruises on his face. He started to breathe heavily, and I considered calling Dr. Davis but then I remembered I'm not even supposed to be here.

It felt like my world was crumbling to pieces.

Everything I built with Julian, every step I took towards falling in love was being undone by his fear and anger. There was nothing I could say or do to fix this. I broke us.

"Please..." I begged, tears welled in my eyes. "Just please let me explain,"

He went quiet for a moment, looking me up and down. I didn't know what else to say. What else was there to say? All I could do was plead, but that didn't seem to be working.

I waited, and waited, and waited for him to say something. And when I finally got an answer, I almost completely broke down right there.

"I want you to leave."

"No, wait-"

"Did you hear me? I said fucking leave! Look at me, Bianca. They stabbed me. Whoever those people were, they stabbed me because they were coming for you. If I knew this was going to happen, I would have never spoken to you and saved myself from all this shit."

My heart broke a little more with every word he spoke. But the sadness began to grow into something different. Frustration.

He wouldn't let me get a single fucking word in. He wouldn't let me tell him why we got jumped or why I had been hiding everything from him. I saved him for god's sake, and this is my fucking thank you?

No Bianca. I deserve this. I have to deal with this. If I was in his position, I would be reacting the same way. He was almost beaten to death and now I'm trying to ask for forgiveness right after. Don't go too fast.