Let Me In

Chapter 39 - First Kiss

So many thoughts and emotions flooded my mind as Raphael's arms circled around my waist. After everything, every interaction, every joke, every rejection, here we were.

Julian had slowly begun to slip from my heart, but a part of him was still there. It obviously wasn't as big as I had expected, because Raphael's lips were still on mine and I didn't give any sign that this was wrong, or right.

This wasn't wrong or right, correct or incorrect. Nothing about Raphael and I was either good or bad, it was just there. We were just here, caught up in one of the many moments we've had before.

This was just a moment, right? A specific second of time that would pass by like all the others. But that idea started to fade. One moment turned into two, then three, then four...what was I doing?

Should I feel worse than I did?

I mean, if I'm being realistic, this kiss wasn't a stretch from anything he's said or done before. And the same goes for me, as I've always found him attractive from the day he showed up at my door told me that he would have to follow me around everywhere I went.

And he did. Most of my time was spent with Raphael. He drove me to school and home. Walked me down to the training room and walked me back. Stood outside my door for countless hours a day. I knew this man.

I had come to know him a lot better in this past month. From short conversations to laughs, him encouraging me, helping me, believing in me when no one else would.

This wasn't wrong, or incorrect, or bad. It was what it was. I was Bianca, He was Raphael, and we were a lot closer than I had let myself think before.

I still owed Julian an apology and some explanation, if he wanted that. But he made his choice when he asked me to leave, and now I was making mine. There was no future relationship for me and him, what we had was over, it had to be.

"Tell me to stop," he breathed as my back hit the wall behind us. "Tell me to stop if you don't want this."

When I didn't reply right away, he halted his movements and stared into my eyes. I saw a flash of regret and concern, just in case my answer was in fact what he told me to say.

My head was spinning. This was our first kiss. Did I want this? Did I not want this? There was only so much I could handle at one time, could I handle doing this with Raphael?

"Don't stop."

The words flew out of my mouth, and I quickly realized why they had. Just this once, I could forget. About Julian, about Natalie, about all that had been unfolding right before me.

And right now, there was no one else I would rather do that with.

A smirk appeared as our lips connected again, and this kiss was unlike any other I had ever experienced. Raphael explored my mouth. There was no rhythm or patience to what we were doing. This interaction was uncoordinated and pure desire, taking over both of us.

One of his hands moved to my hips, the other to my thigh, lifting it around his waist. I placed mine on the back of his neck, pulling him closer so there was absolutely no space between us.

Even after a few minutes, I felt like I was already too far gone. Raphael kissed me like I belonged to him, like I had always belonged to him. Like Julian had never even existed.

I let my head fall back as his hand slid up my body, all the way to my breast until he gave it a tight squeeze. I gasped as he tugged at the bottom of my shirt, pulling it up and over my head. I then reached for his, taking it off and tossing it to the side.