Illicit Affairs [Completed]

42 | Going Crazy

Joy couldn't sleep.

Niether did Taehyung.

They were close enough for him to feel every breath she took, and desire wasn't something that retreated upon command. He wanted her now more than ever. The sheer fear of her leaving him in anger had him on edge. But there were barriers between them more impenetrable than a steel bolster.

Taehyung lay there for a long time, wide awake. He sensed she was finding it equally difficult to fall asleep again. He wasn't particularly in the mood for a chat, but he feared if he didn't break the strained silence, his jawbone was going to crack. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing." Joy still had her eyes closed.

"Don't lie."

"Why do you have to be so mean?"

He sat up and looked down at her. "Excuse me?"

"Can't you apologize for hurting my feelings?" Joy asked. "Or you're ashamed because you're using this word more often nowadays. You're hurting me, Taehyung. I left everything for you, but no, you chose to have trust issues -"

"Because I know you have a lot care for your previous family, more than you show to me." Slowly, Taehyung repositioned himself until his face hovered above hers, until his hands, were clasped on either side of her face, and he could feel her breasts rising and falling beneath him, and taste her breath on his lips. "And this fact makes me insecure of your loyalty to me."

"Then I shouldn't have come here. What's the point of all my deeds, if we don't have a secure relationship." She turned away her face to mask the hurt she felt at the moment. "You should have just killed me the moment you first saw me after leaving Byeongsa. Why didn't you?"

He laid his cheek along hers, rubbed his nose against her earlobe, inhaled her scent. For one forbidden moment, he imagined his mouth being intimate with hers, his hands exploring, that demanding part of himself being enveloped by her body.

"To answer your question…The moment I laid eyes on you, your life was spared," Taehyung whispered against her ear, and she shivered. "When I saw you for the first time in a while, I had my gun ready, but I couldn't... That was the moment I knew I was fucked up."

"Well in that manner, we both are fucked up, aren't we?"

He shook his head. "I don't like your attachment to Sal-inja."

"As if you don't have an attachment to Baekhyun and Wendy." Joy became courageous as she glared up at him. "It's not only me. Baekhyun has mentioned it again and again, and I've seen it, your longing for their love."

Taehyung stared down at her, emotions conflicted. Groaning, he climbed down the bed, and she did too. She put her hands on Taehyung's chest to shove him back. "I need time to clear my head."