❝Kid, don't do that!❞ It was as if I could almost feel him smile-Hear it in his voice, let the warmth of it deluge my heart.
❝Why not?❞
❝It tickles, Allan.❞ I looked into his eyes as he chuckled. Just then i noticed a strange spark of uncertainty a...
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He was leaning against the car in a black high neck t-shirt and cream plaid trousers. Something set off within me, looking at him there. It was strange how things had come so far. It feels like just yesterday I ran into him at school for the first time. But the even stranger part is that it also feels like we've come a long way. There's something dry lumping in my throat. I am nervous but I am more soothed to see him.
It's absurd the way I'm feeling. It's absurd the way he is waiting there for me. I could forgive him now. I don't care about what happened. I mean I do but somewhere deep inside I know I won't be able to say a no if he asks for forgiveness.
I walked to him. He opened the car door to the passenger seat and I got in. There were no second thoughts.
I looked at him. I wanted to kiss him.
I wanted him to hold my hand. I wanted him to hold me close to him and I wanted to tell him how tired I've gotten. I wanted to hold his face in my hands and I wanted to feel his skin on mine. I wanted to tell him I missed him. I wanted to tell him I loved him and I wanted him to tell me he still loved me back.
I wanted him.
I needed him.
Neither one of us spoke. He drove around the edge, off the street and turned towards our school.
"Why are we here?" I mustered the courage to ask only to have my voice betray me. It would barely even come out.
But I know he heard me. "Come with me." He said.
We were halfway up the staircase for the second floor when I realized where he was taking me. He popped open the the little brown door to the rooftop of the restricted wing.
I stood behind the door as he ducked through it and went out in the open air. I looked at him as he went and sat on the ledge with his legs upon it. "You coming?" He screamed.
I noticed I was smiling along with him. I ought to. We had one of those nights that we never talked about here. But both Jace and I knew something special happened that night. I know something changed both our lives in an unexpected way even if I don't remember much about that night.
I remembered him asking me to take him where I would be instead of the party that night. So we both left the party and I got him here. I remember being high that night. And I remember sitting on that ledge just the way he is sitting right now. I remember screaming "You coming?" at him when he stood exactly where I was standing right now.
I went and sat next to him on the ledge placing my back towards the entire city which you could see from up here.
He moved up close to me as he took his legs off the ledge and sat the other way round. Our shoulders collided.
"You remember you told me you were different Allan?" He didn't look at me but my eyes were set on him. "You told me a lot of things that night Allan. It's not like me to remember everything but for some fucking reason I do." There was a little silence creeping in between us but Jace didn't let it.
