Still Holding On

fifty-six

I woke up in a bed.

I was topless. And I had probably passed out last night. And Jace must've brought me up here. He is the caring boyfriend—the wild one. I'm the emotional one. I'm the baby. Well technically, he is also sometimes the baby. But I guess I'm the one who gets out of control. He's gotta handle me. And that's something I love.

I got out of bed and tried to find my way downstairs. My head hurt. I had been in this house for only a day which is quite enough to get to know a new place but the walls and directions upstairs are still stranger to me. 

I call out his name. Once. Twice. Until I realize he isn't here.

I walked into the kitchen. Everyone must've left soon after I passed out last night. They promised they'd give us the house for the night. And then I passed out and we weren't able to do anything. What a waste!

I get a glass and place it on the countertop and start pouring water into it when I look out through the window. I can see Jace crumpled on the side of the bank, by the lake sitting with his back towards the house in a far-off distance.

I walked to him. There were no second thoughts. I found him looking at the little lake. He was lying on the grass now, topless as his skin shone with the sunlight dancing over it.

I sat next to him as he got off his back and took me in his arms. I sat there as a child by his chest and closed my eyes and felt the sunlight glowing bright over my lids until he started asking questions.

"Where are your glasses?"

I did not answer. I'd rather enjoy this moment than being reminded that I'm partially blind.

"Did you have anything?" No, I didn't. Except for a headache that's been throbbing in the back of my head. So I just looked at him and shook my head and pressed it against his bare chest as I shut my eyes again.

The clouds were dangling up in the sky and so the sunlight moved around us often. I sat there in his arms and I couldn't resist but feel how soft his skin felt. I didn't have to resist myself. He was mine in every sense whatsoever and that yet again added to the feeling and warmth of his body wrapped around mine as it got colder around us.

"When do you wan—" And I kissed him. If this guy doesn't stop talking I'll strip him naked in the middle of fucking grass and wear him out. With love. 

His hands ran across my shoulder and then straight up cupped my face. The kiss lasted longer than I'd expected. We both fell back on the grass as I slowly parted my lips from his and traced the edge of his skin by his neck and his shoulderblade, taking his body between my legs.

I got as far as to his abs with red wet marks that my lips left all around his upper body. I got up suddenly and took off my jeans as he looked in amusement.

I made him remove the shorts he was wearing and now it was just us in boxers, moving forward as we walked into the lake. 

The water was cold without a doubt but our bodies entwined together would do just fine as it came upto our chests. I dived into his body and before I knew it, we were both rubbing off bulges with each other's skin.

I swindled my fingers around his lower waist and he twitched with the feeling. I know for a fact that he liked it. 

A sudden push and I twisted his body so now my chest moved against his back. I was confused—craving every sweet part of him as I moved my finger against his skin in a rush, not knowing where to start first so I'd possibly get enough of him.

My hand moved down to his hips and it felt good holding him this way, while slowly moving. There was a sudden rage—a sudden twitch under my skin. It made me feel like I was taking control and to an extent I enjoyed it. I wanted it to last and so it did. 

There was certainly power and a lot more lust that followed. It was a different kind of relief. And I wanted more of it.

I guess I do get out of control sometimes.

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