Still Holding On

sixty-five

I tread water on the surface under the wide, open sky and the sun and all that blue, which reminds me of Theodore Finch, just like everything else reminds me of him, and I think of my own epitaph, still to be written, and all the places I'll wander. I sigh as I read. No longer rooted, but gold, flowing. I feel a thousand capacities spring up in me. I tapped a few more times to realize I'd finished All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

I looked up from the phone. It took me a second to realize where we were. I've driven down this road a million times before. It's the way to New Haven, but only long as it touches the ends of Northford.

Sure, the idea of driving all the way to Northford just for a longer ride to New Haven was fucking crazy but it was also a lot more fun. But today we were collecting the last item on the list for Ashley's gift box. Allan will finally relax now.

The book was a heavy mess though. I read it only because Allan insisted but this story carved right through my emotions and left a mark.

"Done with it?" Allan asked as he drove down 456 Clintonville Lane. I nodded.

"It was emotional." I said after a moment of taking in the fresh air after rolling down the window.

"I told you." He shrugged. Suddenly my phone rang in my hands. It was Bram.

I picked up only to have him scream through the phone. "Where are you two?"

"Northford," I blurted only to realize I shouldn't have.

Bram screamed into the phone. "You're late!" To what, exactly?

"Who is it?" Allan asks. Bram, I mouth.

"We'll be there in 20." I scream and hang up.

"I'm sorry, I'm used to driving down this road than the other one even if it's—" Allan tried to justify but he didn't need to.

"This one does just fine." I reassured.

We were getting late to reach downtown. Nothing was really planned but all we knew was that Nishi and Bram had reached out to some of Ashley's friends from New Haven and made up some plans. We were kind of bummed when they told us they had everything under control. Allan wanted to do something special this time around cus he and Ashley had finally started talking again after a really long time and things seemed to be just fine.

But it isn't such a huge deal. It's her birthday after all.

---❁---

We were down the same street as before—parked in front of Barnes & Noble—which was shut. So I texted Nishi.

Where are we supposed to come?

Just a second later Nishi was dancing in front of our car with her arms in the air calling our names out.

"The fuck is she wearing?" Allan spoke as we looked at her.

"I have no clue what she's wearing but she looks like a fucking clown." I murmured.

"Why are you late?" She asked in a dorky tone as we got off the car.

"Did we miss something?" Allan asked ignoring the tone.

"Not really," We followed Nishi to the back door of the bookstore. "But she's going to be here any second now and you'll have to be ready with the cake and—"

I cut her out as soon as I saw his face. "What is Gavin doing here?"

"Oh yeah, we didn't know either. Turns out only Quin knew." Nishi said.

"Knew what? And who is Quin?" I asked.

"Quin is Ashley's work buddy." She explained. " Only he knew that Gavin was coming."

"Gavin is my friend. Why would he be here?" I let out. Allan gives me a look. It takes me a second. "Oh!" I exclaim as it hits me.

"Late again?" Bram approached us. He would hang us if he could.

"Cut the crap. Where's the cake?" I ask.

"Gavin got a cake too. So we have two." Great. Why did we not get her a cake instead of a fucking massive gift box that weighs almost three and a half kgs?

"You?" I asked Gavin. "Of all the guys Ashley picked you?"

"You almost sound jealous there." He didn't miss the opportunity.

"Time to be mad?" Allan chuckled.

"She's here," Maddie hissed. I almost didn't see her. She's vanished for all I know. "Shut the lights, Quin."

The guy with a beige beanie shut off all the lights. We all froze in our places, afraid of stepping on any of the balloons that filled up the floor.

We heard faint footsteps as Gavin and Bram took their places on either side of the door with party poppers.

Right before the door opened the Quin guy screamed "Wait!" too loudly.

The lights turned on right when she entered and Bram blew his party popper and there was confetti all over the room but the girl standing in front of us wasn't Ashley.

She looked up from her phone and spoke. "It's me you fucktards!"

"False alarm, guys," Maddie spoke. "My bad."

"Clearly." The girl eyed as she walked in.

"Who's she?" I asked, non-hesitant.

"Rene. She's one of Ashley's friends." Allan explained.

"Great so now we have a popper less." Quin cried.

"I've got an extra," Bram picked another one off the ground. "Gonna look before blowing this one now."

"Guys!" We all turned towards the door. "Wow!"

"Great!" Quin was highly disappointed as Ashley stood there at the door.

"Uhh," Rene spoke. "Come in again in a minute. We weren't ready."

"Spare the effort—" Ashley chuckled only to be cut off by Rene.

"Leave!" She ordered. And Ashley followed.

So she entered again and we gave her the surprise and she acted surprised and that went well.

"What now?" Ashley asked.

"Cut your cakes." I suggested.

"I've got a better plan." Rene said.

❁❁❁

Happy New Years!
I know i'm disastrously late but here's another chapter.
Vote if you enjoyed this chapter!!