❝Kid, don't do that!❞ It was as if I could almost feel him smile-Hear it in his voice, let the warmth of it deluge my heart.
❝Why not?❞
❝It tickles, Allan.❞ I looked into his eyes as he chuckled. Just then i noticed a strange spark of uncertainty a...
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This was weird. Extremely strange and weird. Why would any therapist or counsellor ever talk about a suicide from the past with their patient? It is way off tracks and still Mr. Sanderson doesn't want to stop. I can feel it. He wants to keep going about it. This isn't even a single percent of what I thought it was going to be. Soothing and calm? This is extremely the opposite. And he is still talking about how things change for others. I am confused if this is why Cole suggested Mr. Sanderson—to talk about changes and feeling suicidal. I feel like killing him already.
"So, Mr. Gray, Have you started going to the group I suggested last week?" He was asking about the help group—The suicide prevention teen help group. I would honestly never in my deepest darkest nightmares go to yet another help centre.
"Its Jace. And no." I blurted half-heartedly. A bit hesitant somehow.
"Yes." He paused "Okay, Umm. Its been a week since you've been here. Your previous records aren't so great either. You have no other choice. You have to go." He emphasised on have. "It's going to be hard son. If only your record from your previous school was good enough, we could've easily skipped the prevention centre completely." He leaned a bit closer on the table "Try to at least think about going child."
Good enough. That's what they want? Sure then. Nothing about me is good enough. My drunk mother gambling up all the money every night isn't good enough. My biological father living the most lavish life one could ever ask for isn't good enough. My grades aren't good enough. My behaviour isn't good enough. Its about time people start talking about what is good enough.
"But I don't want to. It's really boring and annoying. It doesn't help at all." My voice now heavy and stable as he got up from his chair and sat on the table. Weird.
"You wanna feel okay and good, I expect. And the centre is the only option left on the table. You have to take it kid. A minimum of 2 sessions. That's all. You need to take just 2 sessions Jace. No one's forcing you then." It seemed easy by the way he talked about it. "Get it done child."
I wanted to say a no. Would it sound too harsh? Would it sound too rude? This was irritating. As much as I tried to ignore these topics, the more they came my way. Its annoying and I am done dodging these questions. But I don't want to answer them either. Fuck you Cole!
"And this might be a little harsh kid, but I seriously think you should get a check-up." I look up towards his face. He isn't joking. He looks darn serious. Check-up?! I don't need any check-up. This is just utter bullshit. Makes me miss Mrs. Bailey already. I mean sure, I didn't like her anyways but she was way better than this clown. "You know.." He looked nervous. Should he be though? "Like just a casual mental health check-up. It's good every once in a while y'know!"
This was making me angry. Why would he ask me to get a check-up? This was making me furious anyways and now more to that he said "You know you would get a new perspective, son."
A new perspective? Is he kidding or something? "I don't need a bloody new perspective. I need a new start." and I walk out of the room. I hear him call out my name twice before I shut the door on his face behind me. Ugh! finally. Peace.
It was evident I was angry. At least I think it was. He was being a jerk just like any other adult would be. But I am so not getting a mental check-up. I ain't some crazy guy running loose. This was just a waste of time. I neither have the money nor the time to go for a "check-up". But the one thing I am sure about is Cole is dying.
