Still Holding On

sixty-three

"..I'll call you later!" She hung up. 

I was feeling guilty for the way I acted earlier. But then it was justified, wasn't it? I just don't want my sister to go away!

"What's wrong?" Jace asked, walking next to me. 

"Nothing just.. Jess." I sighed. 

"I mean you are acting irrationally." I look at him. He isn't kidding. 

"She just hung up when I apologized, Jace." I rolled my eyes and opened my locker. 

Jace leaned against the other lockers and stared at me while I kept in books. "What?" I automatically smiled.

"Nothing." He chuckled.

"You're annoying." I said as I shut my locker. I turned around to see Nishi standing on the other side.

"Hi!" She was bubbly as usual.

"God, Jesus! Stop sneaking up like this." I actually got scared. 

"Eh!" She blurted. "What are we doing for Ashley's birthday?"

It was Ashley's birthday in four days. We did not have anything planned at all. Not even a rough idea of what we were going to do. 

"Wouldn't she want a big party or something?" Jace asked. 

"Well, she is popular." Nishi spoke. 

"She'd like some alone time with her friends though!" We turned around as Ashley invaded the conversation.

"Great now even she knows!" Jace exclaimed in disappointment. 

Ash wouldn't stop laughing. "But seriously, don't want anything big."

"Then what do you want?" I asked.

"We're going downtown and having good food and enjoying the night." We were all looking at her wide-eyed. Who knew Ashley Bennett could do normal?

After a little discussion about it, we all walked to our respective classes. The rest of the day at school was just a blur. Though the scene at home was completely different. 

Jace and I were welcomed into the house with a pleasing scent of lavender—my favorite. I walked into the living room to find a set of my favorite candles ignited. There was music coming in from the kitchen.

"What are you even doing?" I asked, over the music.

Jess moved swiftly and paused the song from her phone. "Welcome home!" 

"What's going on?" Jace asked looking just as confused at Jess. 

"I'm just baking!" She smiled. Something seemed weird. 

"Weren't you 'done and dusted' with baking?" I asked. "At least that's what you said."

"But I wanted to have cookies!" What was wrong with her? "They're almost ready." 

She isn't this hyped usually. It is absurd but then I could be overthinking. She resumed the song and Jace held my hand and walked out of the kitchen. Strange enough, but Jess did not notice. 

"Is it just me or has your sister finally lost it?" Jace looked at me. 

"I mean—" I peeped in and looked at Jess, she was eating the left-out dough. "You aren't the only one confused about that." 

---❁---

it was around six when my phone buzzed. 

Is Jessica home?

Why would he text me? What am I supposed to text back? 

????

Is she around? It's important Allan!

Important? What would Nick possibly have to say that could be important? 

I heard someone rumbling down the stairs. I just shut my phone and walked to the lobby. Jessica's room that was on the opposite side was already empty. As if she was never here.

The sheets were done with a quilt in a comfortable shade of pink on top. The white table at the other end of the room was wiped empty too. The shelves had always been empty since she first left but they were somehow contributing to the build-up. 

I wasn't happy with this. But again I was getting used to it.

I rushed down the stairs to find the front door open. I look outside and it's Jess keeping a huge box in the trunk of her car. She looks at me and smiles and I smile back. Suddenly the text pops back into my head. He said it was something important. Nick doesn't beat around the bush. I've learned that much from the time he was around. What if he actually did have something important to say?

"Allan!" I hear mom speaking, standing next to me, handing me a cup of coffee. "You've been lost." She said. 

"He doesn't want her to go." Jace kept his arm around my shoulder and looked at Jessica through the door. 

"Oh c'mon! We've been over this Allan. You did all of this drama when she was leaving the last time too." I looked at her. "You need to get used to it." She walked into the kitchen.

Jess came into the house and shut the front door behind her. "All done!" She let out a sigh and smiled. 

"Nick texted." I blurted out as soon as she looked at me. The smile on her face faded into a dull line showing no emotions. I had seen this look before. A lot of times, growing up. She was going to be defensive about it. It was exactly what the expression meant.

"Alright." She looked away. She wouldn't look me in the eye. She was hiding something. 

"That's all you got to say?" I was unnecessarily loud. 

"Allan! I can't right now—" She said but I took no time to cut her out. 

"You can't what?" I was getting angry without having a reason. But she was giving into it. Her face hid no emotion. She was looking down. She was acting like she was guilty. "WHY ARE YOU—" And we both went off at the same time. She and I were both screaming on top of our lungs simultaneously. 

"BUT YOU DON'T—" I screamed but she cut me off by being louder this time.

"I MET HIM TODAY!" She looked up and I looked into her eyes. She wasn't crying, which was a good sign. But that doesn't mean I won't react the way I felt about this. And I felt pissed. Disappointed. Betrayed too, I guess. 

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