Her Over Everything

Chapter 45

Erin McAfee

I took a deep breath and sighed for the nth time today.

I leaned back on to my couch and tried to think of anything other than what transpired yesterday. But everytime I tried to think of something, flashes of yesterday always win.

If there's only a delete button inside my brain, I would gladly push it to erase all of my memories with Zac and yesterday. Unfortunately, there's none, that's why I am still suffering.

It's easier for me if he just ignored me and be with someone else, that way it's easier to move forward. But he didn't. Instead, he acted all jealous and concern. The fucking look in his eyes whenever we looked into each other -- it displayed guilt, remorse, and longing.

The way he held me last night, I could feel the intense beating of his heart, just like the way it used to beat whenever he put my hand on them for me to feel my effect on him.

Why? Why the hell did I need to see and feel everything?

I shouldn't have come yesterday. I shouldn't have!

Good thing, my friends were there to console me. Fortunately, Olivia didn't ask me about anything last night. She just told me that she won't push me to tell her everything. When I'm ready to tell her everything, she's just a call away. That's what she said, and I think I'm ready now to tell her everything.

I mean, if there's someone who should know everything, it's her and it's only logical to tell her about what happened as she's also my best friend. It's not fair for her to be kept in the dark especially that I felt like she has a huge part in this but I'm also scared to know what her reaction will be. If she's going to be mad at me or not.

So, with a thumping heart, I took my phone and dialled her number.

She told me that she will be here in half an hour. Great! I still have time to compose myself.

I was nervously pacing around my living room when I heard my doorbell rang.

I took my last deep breath to calm myself because this is it! I am about to unravel everything.

As I opened the door, a whiff of liquor welcomed me. As I opened my door widely, that's when I stilled.

It was Zachary.

He was leaning on to the door frame to support himself from falling. He still have his clothes on from yesterday but the tie was not already gone. The top two buttons were unbuttoned and his blazer was hung on his right arm. His eyes were bloodshot red and a bruise was forming on the side of his left eyes. The blood on the cut on his lower lip were already dry but I could see that it's deep.

All in all, he still look handsome in this state.

Ugh. Oh my God, Erin! Get it together! This man hurt you!

Snippets of last night's brawl came back to me. Did Mason really got him last night?

"You have bags in your eyes. Did you not get sleep too?" Zac slurred stopping the silence between us. Here we go again, his eyes held guilt and longing.

"What are you doing?" I asked him in nonchalance instead of answering him. I didn't want him to see that he still has the effect on me. Actually, to be honest, what I wanted to do now was to treat his wounds and put an ice pack on his bruise.

But I won't.

"I'm here to see you. Are you okay?" He asked and tried to stand up but he wobbled and held on to the threshold.

I frowned at him. How much did he drink last night? Knowing him, he has a high tolerance in alcohol. Seeing him like this and knowing how much did he drink last night makes my heart ache for him. I just want to hug him and let all our sorrows go away.