Her Over Everything

Chapter 48

Erin McAfee

It's been three days since I told Olivia everything. It's also been three days since Zac went here and drunk apologised to me.

Since that day, I never had a proper sleep. I kept thinking of Zac, his actions, his jealousy, his apologies, and the sincerity in his eyes.

I don't understand, why was he like that? It's as if he cares for me and that hurting me was never his intention?

What's his deal? What does he want from me?

Does he love me that's why he's acting all jealous and guilty?

Or was it because I am his sister's best friend that's why he felt guilty on hurting me?

Ugh! I swear, I don't know anymore!

I groaned and sighed loudly.

"Zac again?" I heard Jowee asked from Livy's kitchen.

"It's been three months already, why does everything still so hard for me?" I answered her with a question.

It's like the more days has passed, the more complicated my situation with him.

"Because, it's my brother. He's complicated." Olivia answered when she and Dylan got out from her toilet. Her son just went number 1.

I took Dylan from her, kissed him on his chubby cheeks, and sat him on my lap. This boy is so cute! It can make your stress temporarily go away.

"Help me, Livy. What shall I do? What did you do in Dubai? Please." I pleaded because she's gone through this already. Maybe I can learn from her experience.

"E, we're different. What I did was not good for myself, I worked almost 24 hours a day for seven days. It's like---"

"We're no different." I covered Dylan's ears and continued, "Nick also broke up with you. You were also hurt by it. How did you hold up and---"

"Nick broke up with me, yes, but he has no issues to himself. He was just blinded by his insecurities. Yours were different." She answered me calmly while Dylan tried to remove my hands from his ears. I did so and he kissed my cheek as his thank you, then spoke.

"Mommy, can I pway with Aunt Jowee?"

"Come here, you little cutiepie, help me with these cupcakes." Jowee called him from the kitchen, she's making cupcakes for Dylan as he requested it.

He looked at his mom for approval and she nodded. Now, Livy and I were all alone in discussing this matter. I swear, talking to her about my past relationship with her brother is still awkward for me. Never did I once thought that we'll talk about me and Zac in this kind of situation.

But, we know nothing about the future. The one you wished to happen might not happen, and some of those you don't wish to happen, happens.

I took a deep breath and looked at Olivia's eyes.

"Should I take a break from everything? Go far away from here just like what you did?" I asked her thinking that maybe I could do what she did. It looked like it worked well for her.

"I mean, I was not going to go away for Zac to chase me, no. It's... Fu-- fudge cake, I don't know anymore." I whined and kicked Livy's coffee table slightly.

She sighed and took a sip on her tea.

"Erin, if there's anything I can advise to you is for you to focus on yourself. I know it's hard, but you need to because there's nothing or no one that can help you in this but yourself. For the first two months I was in Dubai, I thought being busy and being away was the answer. I shut myself to everyone but that did not do any good to me. It made me feel more depressed and lonely because the very memories and emotions I was running away from were inevitably coming back to me or haunt me at the end of the day."