Matching Rings [h.s]

65

POV: BAYLIN GRIGGS

I didn't get a single minute of sleep that night. After crying my eyes out for literal hours, replaying the entire fight in my head multiple times, I couldn't avert my mind off anything other than Harry.

Unlike last time he left me alone, this time he at least texted me right away. So thankfully this time I won't worry.

Harry You need space
Harry Come talk to me when you're ready

I really appreciate him texting me this time. It just goes to show that he genuinely heard me when I brought up how much it scared me when he left without a word the other day.

And I was actually very glad that he was giving me time to breathe. Everything that went down last night was all too consuming. I feel like I was drowning in a never ending pool of disaster, swimming my way to a safety boat that isn't there.

My brain was scrambled and I didn't know what to work out first.

For starters, I finally found out what was keeping Harry and I from moving forward in our relationship the entire time. Which was the fact that, for who knows how long at the start, he was purely using me for a game. He was using me to win a bet.

That makes me feel incredibly useless. What would he have done if he didn't end up actually liking me? Would he have just thrown me away once he was done with me?

And the second he started catching real feelings towards me, why didn't he tell me about it then?

He let me build this idea in my head that was completely wrong about him. Since the beginning I wondered why in the world Harry would pick someone like me to go after. I considered myself just lucky to find someone like him, though little did I know he was purely trying to fuck me for a bet.

I don't know how to react to this. I should definitely be mad, but should I be mad enough to break things off? Is that even a good reason to break things off? Because I know Harry isn't like that now, I really do believe he's changed.

And secondly, the main point that kept me up all night... he admitted he was in love with me.

He said he was in love with me.

And what was my god awful response?

'Fuck you, Harry'.

I cannot believe I let myself say that to him after he had said something that must have made him feel so defenseless.

Fuck, and the look on his face the second the words left my mouth— it brings tears to my eyes. He looked absolutely crushed, he was so unguarded for that response.

I don't know what he expected me to say. Of course I love him, if he doesn't know that by now he's an idiot. But I wasn't just going to tell him I love him back after he had filled me with so much rage, and hurt.

It was just overall terrible timing. Half of me thinks the only reason he said it was to get me off his back, while the other half knows that he said it purely without thinking.

I feel so betrayed. He seriously made me question everything between us at the moment.

Of course I know that the majority of our time together was spent with real feelings and emotions, just the fact that he waited that long before sleeping with me shows how much he cared. But clearly he didn't care enough, he should have told me about the bet well before he let us get to this point in our relationship.

The main question that keeps being brought back up in my head as I fight the battle of what to feel— when did it end?

When did he stop trying to just fuck me for the game? And where did the real feelings start?