[▶] for safekeeping.

violet

"michishirube"

-

now, I'd be lying if I said I knew why I was crying.

nothing in particular. like a paradoxical flow of events

unfolding themselves slowly one by one.

was I crying for what I was about to lose? what I'm in the process of losing?

mourning the people I lost but never had time to properly grieve? the girl I once was?

...maybe.

sometimes you don't know why this sudden wash of sorrow just

drowns you, leaves your heart no time to breathe

when you see that beautiful blue expanse of sky. and those clouds.

they never do change.

but you do.

and somehow that is so bittersweet.

something so painful, so sorrowful...

about the neverending passing of it all.

trying to repress tears, like that, yet

not being able to stop them flowing down my cheeks...

that hasn't happened in a very long time.

more so, I've felt more numb than I've cared to admit. but I never do like it.

I don't enjoy existing in a perpetual state of nothing.

but one thing that still has a key to my soul, I've noticed -

is music.

the only thing that can ever make me properly feel anything anymore

is music.

makes you wonder, doesn't it..?

if, in order to truly get through to me

one had to first master music before they could begin

to master understanding

me

and my heart.

- fin -