[▶] for safekeeping.

last june

Inspiration:

-

○ reflections ○

when you look at yourself in the mirror -

what do you see?

sometimes you think to yourself -

maybe this, is all an illusion

maybe I'm dreaming

maybe none of this was real.

maybe.

just maybe.

and you try your best, day by day

to hold on to those pieces that are just

rattling, shaking about in your chest

trying to keep it together

and on the outside, a facade.

maybe some people take you at face value.

maybe not some, maybe most, maybe all of them -

to them, you're probably just this shallow, stubborn, childish, immature person

who they couldn't care less about.

to them, you're easy to ignore.

to them....who cares?

as much as all this pain is pulling at your heart

every single minute, every second of the day

whether you know it or not, whether you acknowledge it or not

who sees it?

who cares?

and isn't it funny?

how life is so cruel -

it builds you up with happy memories, throws joys at you, gives you a magic that will never fade -

and yet

.

I once told someone

on a train, standing next to one of those who've now left me

talking about someone else I held dear

still do, but now force myself to do so, so much less,

"I watched her grow, from someone who barely smiled, to someone who laughed a lot."

and I loved that.

I loved that she had grown.

I loved that I had been a part of that journey, that I was one of the people she trusted the most.

I was loved, and I loved.

and yet I've now been thrown completely out of the centre of things -