[▶] for safekeeping.

monarch

i know, we're all struggling
and I want to take that pain away from you
and is it so bad that
I'm struggling with the thought of you on my mind
24-7-365?
for what reason does that have to sound so good?
I don't know. just like how
I never expected that faint attraction for you
to grow into so much more.

they said butterflies would be a sign, I
happen to have a butterfly tattoo
sitting on the inside of my right wrist
although it's temporary. I replace it from time to time
with new butterflies that dance on my skin
even though they all mean the same thing, really
faded ink bleeding into tiny scripted words
engraving on my skin
how much i want you and want to hold
you
and I know there is so much growing to do
I know there is so much more I should be doing for myself
before I dedicate myself to you
maybe that was the push I needed. to realise I can't stop growing
not now, not ever
I need to keep working toward that
beautiful version of myself
who never stops just
there

I miss you like
butterflies yearn for nectar
and how they dance in courtship fluttering
round in spirals, faerie circles
wings lightly dusting one another's with a wish
of magic, of peals of colour
flowering, bursting with
intricate patterns and all the daintiness
of a knight holding his sword strong on the very
tips of his fingers
I laugh
and I curtsey as I whirl away from you again.

how much wonder, is it
to get to love you
and love myself
all at the same time?