Inspiration:
Honestly very worried about failing my history exam tomorrow so I'm just giving up because I don't have the motivation anymore - I'm writing this to at least get some of the weight off my chest
-○ poem ●
Please.
Please. I didn't mean this.
I always want to be as good as everyone else -
They shine, they are bright, they are exemplary.
But I
I am not exemplary.
I am ruined
I cannot meet expectations as much
as others do.
But it crushes me because the
weight of this
world
Is for us to all do well.
I can't do it.
I think, I try, I push myself harder
I have tried to tell myself
That I
I can succeed.
I will survive.
But no
These are just lies
And I am nothing more than useless.
I have to watch everyone excel
While my psyche blocks out my train of thought
I should be asleep. It's late.
I've got to write, I've got to keep running.
"Why do you write like you're running out of time?", they said,
And I say,
"Because I am."
Everyone is.
But I still feel like
My sandclock in particular
Is flowing faster than anyone else's.
My impending doom is reaching out
for me
waiting to ensnare me in its depths.
I honestly can't wait.
Because then I won't have to face all of this.
It's burning, crashing waves
It's washing over me, it's torturing me
I'm reaching out towards the surface, my hand
splashes, skims the blue line
I gasp for air.
I'm screaming.
I'm screaming.
I'm screaming.
Can anyone hear me?
Help.
I'm trying to survive. I'm struggling to survive.
Save me, please.
I can't, I'm trying, it's too strong.
The air is draining out of my lungs
WELL, I'M SORRY I CAN'T MATCH UP TO YOUR STANDARDS, WORLD.
I'm losing the strength in my arms, my legs, my breath is leaving, it's gone
I'm helpless, please
Please
I need someone there
Is there anyone who will hear my cry?
Please
I'm not enough for this world, I'm not needed, I know
But please
just this once
give me a chance
Take my hand
PLEASE
THEY'RE LATCHING ONTO ME
I'M LOSING ALL HOPE IN MY LEGS
THEY'RE PULLING ME DOWN UNDER
DEEP BLUE ABYSS
PLEASE, BEFORE IT'S TOO
LATE
PLEASE
I CAN'T -
save me.
Please.
- fin -
-
A/N: This is really crappy but I'm not good with words when my mind is internally combusting sigh I might take this down soon and reupload another one- Bella.
YOU ARE READING
[▶] for safekeeping.
Randoma collection of thoughts, musings, all the words I can never really say. placed here, in the palms of my youth. for safekeeping.