[▶] for safekeeping.

mocha

and yet I lay here in the dark
longing for a hand that's not mine to hold
wanting to see your face again, your eyes
hold you tight, even if for only just a little bit
(but who am I kidding? of course a little bit's not even enough)
and just when I thought the feelings were fading
they began surging back
and suddenly I'm back to lonely strolls and
distant, detached far-off looks
staring off into nothingness beyond the windows of cabin doors
as the next song continues to play.

maybe my life is a music box that keeps rewinding
sometimes it feels like a new chapter never comes, because the little girl turning my box doesn't let it
and I'm made to repeat things over and over again
even if only in my head
every time I drink a cup of coffee, I think of you now
that's so silly, isn't it? to have such a small, simple action connected to something more
someone else
like you.

maybe this time I'll actually ask you to go
to that light festival.
a different one's happening in june, this time
but I think I might actually ask you.
would it be weird?

I've been thinking of telling them about you
I feel like it's not exactly something I can keep under wraps with us.
it's tricky..
sometimes I chance upon photos of us from last april and I muse about how it feels like forever ago
I can't even remember the girl I was.
it feels like I've aged five years in one
so much is different now. I wonder if it's the same for you.
I want to tell you about everything I've done
and I want to hear you talk about everything you want to or need to.

over another coffee?
I wouldn't mind the slightest bit.