[▶] for safekeeping.

wounds

Inspiration:

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● poem ○

I can't do this.

Everytime I see you

your eyes pierce through me

and dread entraps my heart

Because everytime your hair frames your face

everytime you stare up through the darkness of your lashes

you are oh so beautiful

to me.

And it kills me because

we used to be able to smile

and talk and laugh and share everything with each other

but now there is only tension and silence

and you don't like me touching you anymore.

I can't just pull your hand like I used to.

I can't just lean my head on your shoulder like I used to.

I can't put my arms around you like I used to.

And we can't ever share the joy we used to.

I'm trying to reverse my actions

but I don't have the first idea how

to break through the barrier you've built against me

although invisible but still tangible.

Things have changed

it's obvious and it tears me apart

it makes me want to yell and question

why all this needed to happen

to you and

me.

You are the reason I can never focus

the reason why I try to hide

the uglier sides of me

because I'm always trying to hide -

my heart is a coward.

And I wish so much to be able

to walk up to you and start a conversation

and you'd respond the same way you always used to

with a smile and a laugh -

but those days are long gone and

I don't know if they're ever coming

back.

It makes me wonder if

I should just let go so everything becomes

easier

but then my heart aches again and refuses

and continues to cling on.

oh, how I hate myself sometimes.

And I remember when you used to

wave to me and smile in the hallways

or walk up to me and ask me a question

just for the heck of it.

But now we don't talk anymore

you never look me in the eyes

and when you see me you quickly walk away

and I'm left hanging alone.

Remember the time you wanted me to be your dance partner?

I remember that.

It was back when you were completely unaware of

how I felt

and we shared the universe with each

other.

And these words I'm writing

because pent up they're killing me more than if

I placed them somewhere

other than my thoughts.

I know I shouldn't be thinking so much

I should just ignore all this and continue on

with everything,

but I just can't manage to.

You're becoming a killer and you don't even know it yet

because my breath is being silently stolen away

my heart tearing beneath the mask

and my blood flowing away out of sight.

Please stop doing these things to me

I think I'm losing my pulse

and everyday I get driven one step closer to the boundary between sanity and madness

and it drives me more insane than insane could ever do so.

And it's everything I say

everything I do

I'm reminded of you

your soul is in everything, you are everywhere

and you haunt me to no end.

The sharpest sliver of glass

could never cut me deeper than you do

the pain of a bullet

never more painful than what you do to my heart.

You destroy me and I'm being worn away

but you don't even know it.

You don't know how you're slowly killing a girl

who could do nothing to save herself and

You.

- fin -

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A/N: Not much to say tonight. I love you all.

♡, Bella.