Chaos: Bakugou Katsuki x OC x Dabi story

Take the pain away

**********TW: Self Harm, Depression, Self loathing***********

The mist began to fade away, leaving Touya standing in a field with me still in his arms. I was trying so hard to hold back the bitter tears that were slowly choking me, I couldn't handle this, I couldn't do this anymore. At every step I was just continually ripped away from Katsuki, ripped away from the small piece of happiness I was ever granted. I was trying to process everything Uncle had said, all that he had admitted to. He was the one responsible for the loneliness and abandonment in my life. He took it upon himself to shred what little part of my life was good. Katsuki had been the only good thing to truly happen to me, he had been a constant pillar whenever he was present. To imagine my life without him really made me contemplate if I wanted to keep living at all.

I felt Touya's lips softly press against my temple as he swayed me back and forth causing my heart to clench. A sour feeling in my stomach was growing as I thought about all the ways he was just as fucking ruined by my Uncle, too. He brought me into his life with a purpose, only to force him away. And for what? Now that I know the whole 'I wanted you to be successful' bit was a line of bullshit, what did he gain from tearing us apart for so long? Was he just as guilty as Touya's father for wanting a way to control him?

At the end of the day the only thing that was clear in all this shady bullshit was this: I was never anything more than a pawn. I was a means to an end. I was a fucking object.

I had never felt so worthless in my entire life. All I had accomplished, achieved, the name I made for myself, the research. It didn't mean a fucking thing. I had one purpose, and that was to be a fucking mail order bride. I felt sick the longer I let my thoughts trail down that dark path, the part of my mind I carelessly thought I would never end up going down again. The part that was the sole reason for the pills Katsuki was so disapproving of. My body grew numb; I was so tired. I just wanted to sleep.

I was so lost in my head I didn't even notice we had been moving until Touya paused to open the door of a small home. Carrying me over the threshold, he didn't even bother setting me down or kicking off his boot as he walked through the halls of the home with familiarity. The warmth was trying to chase away the chill of the late autumn air from my skin. He set me down on the bed softly, crouching down to meet me at eye level. He had streaks of blood down his cheeks, his turquoise eyes were bloodshot and swollen. He caressed my face, pushing the hair from my eyes before leaning in to press a soft, lingering kiss on my forehead. He pulled me against his chest, holding me for what felt like hours without speaking a word. He was hurting, whether more, less, or the same as me, we both knew the other was in pain and just needed comfort. We sat there in one another's arms as the inky sky slowly grew lighter, the sun finally peeking over the horizon to welcome a new day filled with new possibilities. At least for everyone else.

"Dollface, you need to try to sleep." Touya's voice was deep but soothing as he placed another gentle kiss on my temple, rocking softly as he rubbed my back. I said nothing, sitting in drowning silence. I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to say anything, there was nothing to say. He sighed in defeat, resting his forehead against mine as he collected himself.

"I know things have been hard. I know hard also doesn't even begin to describe what's happened. But I want you to know, I'm not giving up on you, or us. You are my life, you're my everything, Little One. You might not feel the same way now, but one day you will, and I am willing to spend the rest of my life waiting for you." His words stung my heart. Touya was all too aware of how much I still loved Katsuki, how much I would be with him right now, yet here he was instead trying his hardest to be for me what he thought I needed. It wasn't fair to him.