it has always been him • m.g

Chapter 18

"Martin..." I say low and slowly. "Who the fuck is this?"

She looks me up and down as if I was some kind of freak, when I look normal. And good, may I add.

Now it's my turn. I look her up and down to see that she has blonde, long hair that looks naturally straight. She has her makeup well done, making her her light-colored, pretty eyes pop out. Then she has a nice sweater on, some leggings and some weird shoes that nobody knows they exist.

"Lynn," Martin says, finally walking towards the door to face me. "I have to speak to her." She puts an annoyed face on but walks lazily away.

I walk in without saying a word, I don't need his permission to walk in to his house.

"Oh, um-" I say starting to speak quickly and nervously. "I baked you this cake, but it can go fuck itself." I say, kind of panicking for some reason. Martin opens his mouth to speak but I beat him at it. "Who is she exactly?" I say and for some reason I can't stay still, I keep tucking my hair behind my ear and touching my forehead nervously.

"She is... Lynn."

"Is she a cousin I don't know of or something?" I say quickly.

"No, no- she's the girl I met last night." He says.

"I thought you were in New York." I say.

"I was. She told me she wanted to come to LA to visit and explore, I offered her a place to stay." He says and I give him an 'are you dumb?' look.

"Martin! Are you stupid?! She could be a serial killer, you don't know her! And she doesn't know you! Why would she even stay here!" I snap.

"I know more than you think."

"Martin this is stupid, I never ask strangers to stay at my house for a while, and if I did, they would say I'm fucking crazy, and they wouldn't trust me. You guys are very weird people." I say and he clearly doesn't know what to answer since he is looking at the ground silently. "Why didn't you tell me she was coming?" I say, lowering my voice.

"I don't know. I guess I've just been making a lot of mistakes lately." He says as if he is sad, still looking at the ground. It makes me feel really bad, and it kind of breaks my heart. I want to be mad at him for this. But screw it. I need his arms around me.

I hug him without saying anything and wait for his muscular man arms to wrap around my waist tightly, though I feel nothing. I grab his arms and wrap them around my back myself, he must be too lazy to do it. He stays like that for a second before letting go and letting his arms hang from his sides. I let go of his neck, pulling away to see what is wrong. I see that his face is equal annoyed and mad. ,So fuck him, and fuck her too.

This of course got me very mad, now I most certainly knew I wasn't going to be apologizing to him. To get out a little bit of the anger that has built quickly inside of me, I grab the box that contains the cake, and throw it roughly somewhere around the kitchen, probably causing a mess, but I don't have a single care in this world right now.

I walk myself out the door confidently and get in my car, I feel like breaking down... I just can't in public.

"Maddie! Stop, I'm sorry!" Martin runs out the door.

I flip him off and pull out of his driveway, driving back home.

I hope I don't shed one single tear. You never know when someone can be looking at you... or in my case, stalking and taking pictures of you.

I get to my house and run in, starting to feel the tears threaten to fall out of my eyes.

"Ergh!" I complain, regretting ever going over there, hugging him or wanting to apologize. Now he has to apologize, I just have to be patient and make sure I don't lose my shit any more than I already did.