it has always been him • m.g

Chapter 22

I hit my notebook with my pencil, thinking about what else I should write. I contemplate the room, it is full of light coming from the large window, and the perfect temperature. It was also silent, I was the only one there.

I hum, imagining the rhythm, still trying to think of the words that were deep down in my heart, still not coming towards the surface.

The heartfelt songs are the hardest ones to write.

"And I loved you more than anything, those years of my life," I sing, writing it down.

You're thinking about him. Damn.

It's nearly impossible not to though. Ever since that night at the studio...

The front door opens and my head shoots up to see who has came in. It was Martin, of course.

"Hey," he says with a small smile on his face. Sitting beside me on the couch.

"Hi," I smile a bit.

"What's wrong?" he asks worried.

"Nothing. Why?" I say.

"Because I know you Maddie..." he says truthfully. He looks down and sees the notebook and pen in my hands and grabs it from me. His eyes scan the paper. I worry, not wanting him to see it. "I still want you," he mumbles my lyrics. "You're thinking about Justin aren't you?" he looks frustrated.

"I'm sorry! I can't stop!" my head falls into my hands. He gets up and starts walking around.

"Keep trying!" he yells and I get up.

"I can't, don't you get it?!" I yell and suddenly feel a wet stream running down my cheeks.

He walks to me slowly and takes me into his embrace. He grabs my head and places it on his chest as he rubs my back gently.

"Cry." his words immediately make me break out in tears.

The thing is that when me and Justin broke up, there was no time to be sad. I constantly had interviews, photoshoots, etc. The only time I could cry was when I went to sleep, but just a bit because I could wake up with swollen eyes. So I guess I've been holding onto these tears for years now.

Once I feel like all the water I could expel was out, I pulled away, wiping my cheeks.

"Sorry," I say, my voice sounding as if I had a cold due to my clogged up nose from crying.

"Why?" he asks.

"I've been crying on you for 5 minutes, and your shirt is wet," I point at his shirt that had a wet spot on it.

"Maddie, it's okay, I'm here whenever you need to get a shirt wet," he says hugging me again. I laugh.

"Thank you," I hug him tighter.

Suddenly, my phone rings, interrupting our sweet moment.

It's an unknown number.

"Hello?" I say into the phone, confused.

"Hey, Madeleine? It's me Grayson... Dolan," the person says.

"Oh, yeah, it's me. Hi," I'm surprised he just decided to call me after these few months.

"Hi, um, I forgot to call you," he adds a nervous laugh at the end.

"Oh, it's okay," I smile. I start walking around and suddenly see Martin. I turn around and my eyes widen.

"So, I was wondering, would you like to go out with me?" Grayson asks.

"Yes," I said a little too quickly. Damn, I'm so stupid. He laughs.