it has always been him • m.g

Chapter 45

It's my first visit to the doctor for the baby, and I'm nervous.

Oh, and I even had to make this appointment private, which cost me a few more bucks than usual.

I came with Martin, who seems to be having a bit of a panic attack, or is maybe always shaking with his eyes wide open and a faint smile.

The doctor indicates me to lie down on the chair, I do as told.

She puts this cold, transparent gel on my belly and I kind of flinch at first, because it feels funny and is tickling me a bit.

Then she rubs around my belly with something that I don't even know, and watches the screen where my baby is supposed to be.

"Ah! There it is. That's your baby."

At first I can't see a damn thing, but after a few seconds of desperately analyzing the screen, I see it. I actually see it.

And I think that in that moment, a switch flips inside me.

I finally realized, that I am actually going to have a baby. Something I've longed for, and have been looking forward to my whole life.

It looks like a peanut on the screen, but that shouldn't be ruining it all, right?

Martin gazes at the screen in awe.

I think that I'm actually starting to really want this baby.

-

At one point, Martin leaves the room, creating an opportunity for me to speak up.

"Excuse me," I say to get the doctor's attention.

"Yes?" She looks at me with sweet eyes. It almost makes me feel guilty.

"I don't know how to say this, uh..." I pause. I really don't want to look bad, but I don't think that's possible. "Can I, uh... get a DNA test?"

She takes a deep breath, with a faint smile.

"Are you embarrassed?" she asks.

"Yes," I say, barely above a whisper.

"Don't be. It happens to many girls," she says. "Yes. You can. But how many possible fathers are there?"

"Two. Just two."

"Then you could just give me a DNA sample of one of them. Either hair or saliva."

"Okay," I say. "I thought it would be more complicated than that."

"It used to be, but now we are in 2016. Everything is advancing."

"Well then... good, I guess."

-

Martin has been so out of it since that damned baby doctor appointment. I should have never let him come with me.

"Shit. I'm starting to show."

"Well, maybe you can just pretend you've gained some weight," Martin trying to solve my problems.

"It looks like a baby bump!"

"A lot of people can't tell the difference. Most guys, at least."