Insatiable (Completed)

Chapter 39- Wishful thinking

Riley

"I'm going to miss you this week," Richard said from the other end of the phone.

"I cant believe your dad threw this at you last minute."

"You and me both." Richard was boarding the jet as we spoke.

"And it's really for the entire week?"

"I'm not sure but it's a possibility. The investors want a complete run down on the law firm before we finalize everything." He explained.

"And this just had to happen all the way in New York?"

I heard his dry chuckle. "You know my dad. Go big or go home for his investors."

"That I know." There was a pause and a sigh from his end. I could hear the shuffling as he got in his seat. "I'm going to the Doctor today." I told him and felt a twist on my stomach at the mention of this. It had been happening since yesterday.

"For the pills?"

"Yeah and just a check up."

"Let me know how it goes."

"I will."

God, I'm a horrible person.

"I got to go now. We're about to take off so I'm gonna lose signal."

"Okay. Call me later then?"

"Always. I love you."

"Richard." I whined.

"Riley," he called back with a chuckle. "Remeber what I said." I closed my eyes momentarily and took in a deep breath. "I love you. I'll call you when I land, okay?"

"Okay."

He cut the call.

Guilt. That was all I felt after Richard had hung up. It's the same guilt that I felt when he dropped me off at home on Sunday. Our conversation from that morning had struck a nerve in me. Talking about kids, or the potential of, always brought about these feelings.

"We definitely dont need that."

"Well not right now anyways."

It broke my heart hearing him say those words. It wouldve been easier if he hated children or didnt want any of his own. Any other girl would be ecstatic to hear a guy talk about wanting kids in the future but all I felt was pain. Not pain for myself but rather pain for him. When I was 18, I was diagnosed with cervical insufficiency. The doctor explained something about my cervix being too short and hence too weak to carry a pregnancy to full term. At the time it didnt seem like a big deal. I was 18, who really cares about having children at the age of 18 but now things were different. My doctor explained that it wouldnt be impossible to have a baby, challenging however was a huge maybe, and chances of a miscarriage were extremely high.

I sighed, slouching back in my office chair as I felt a headache coming on from these thoughts. I didnt know how to tell Richard. Sure we're not nearly at that point in our relationship yet, heck I haven't even had the balls to say I Love You back, but didnt he deserve to know?

What the hell am I going to do?

Maybe things have changed since my last gynae checkup from a year ago. I dont know, it was wishful thinking. There was a knock at my door that snapped me out of my head. Seconds later, Chris peeped through the crack.

"Hey!" He beamed, looking all cheerful for a Monday morning.

"Hey. Come in," I straightened my posture and put on a smiling face for him.