Fiction Series 4:Survive

Episod 57: Burden

"Ah-ha. So you expect me to believe these words?"

See? He didn't believe me.

He didn't even want to believe that he was apart of an experiment.

Of course. If I was him, aku pun tak akan percaya bulat-bulat perkara mengarut macam ni. Lagi-lagi kalau aku kata yang eksperimen tu berlaku dekat Japan.

But wait.

"How do you know that your eyes' color was changing before?"

"I....don't....."

Badannya disandarkan ke belakang sambil sebelah tangannya pula menggosok belakang lehernya.

"I don't know myself. Just some kind of weird feeling."

Weird...feeling, huh? Looks like that Black Crystal really is a weird thing too.

Ryan menyandarkan badannya ke depan semula dan berura-ura untuk membuka mulutnya sebelum dia terdiam.

Matanya yang berwarna golden tu bertukar kepada warna merah. Badan aku tersentak sedikit disebabkan perubahan tiba-tiba tu.

Tapi beberapa saat selepas tu warna matanya kembali kepada warna asal semula.

He's cursing 'f*ck' sebelum badannya tu disandar kasar ke kerusinya.

"Ni first time aku nampak benda macam ni masa terjaga...." That's what he mumbled. Even though I don't understand a shit.

And disebabkan tak faham dia cakap apa tadi, aku just cakap, "What?"

And he says, "This is the first time. I mean literally first time I've seen someone's deatg while awake!"

Okay....calm down.

"Whose death exactly."

Ha.....tu dia. Suara emas yang kita tunggu-tunggu dari seorang lelaki bernama Shuu sejak tadi.

"Yours."

Shuu?

"Shuu's death?"

Ryan mengeluh panjang sebelum dia tiba-tiba menarik kerusinya lebih rapat ke arah aku.

"Yours. Not him-"

Kata-katanya mati sepatuh jalan disebabkan tiba-tiba je ada seorang kanak-kanak kecil yang mungkin berusia lebih kurang 6-7 tahun menjerit perkataan 'papa'.

Wait. Papa?

Budak perempuan tu terus meluru ke arah Ryan lalu memeluk kaki lelaki ni yang masih sedang duduk.

Ryan pula tersenyum kecil lalu mengusap lembut kepala kanak-kanak tersebut.

Dan entah kenapa satu badan aku meremang bila ternampak perbuatan anak-beranak di hadapan aku ni.

"Your daughter?" Aku bertanya lalu Ryan laju mengangguk.

"Her mom?"

"At the kitchen maybe. Kejap. Mina!!"

'Kejap' tu apa pulak? Hah....whatever.

Dengan suara Ryan yang menjerit memanggil nama seseorang bernama Mina, terus seorang perempuan yang mungkin berusia awal 30-an muncul di muka pintu yang menghubungkan kawasan belakang rumah Ryan dengan kawasan di dalam rumahnya.

"Yes? Awak panggil saya ke?"

Hah...! Another Malay language. Okay fine. Borak lah korang dulu.

"Ha'ah."

"And why exactly?"

"Saja."

Perempuan bernama Mina tu tersenyum kecil sambil menggelengkan kepalanya lalu berkata, "Oh! Ana dengan awak ke? Ingatkan main kat ruang tamu tu tadi. Takpelah kalau macam tu. Saya pergi dululah. Nak keluar sekejap." Bila pandangannya jatuh kepada budak perempuan tu. Or should I say Ryan's daughter?

Ryan pula hanya menganggukkan kepalanya sekali dan akhirnya perempuan bernama Mina tu hilang dari pandangan kami.

Lelaki di hadapan aku ni mengangkat tubuh kecil anaknya ke atas pangkuannya sebelum kami menyambubg perbualan yang tergendala tadi.

"So...about my death. I'm....I'm going to die in what way actually?"

"Can't see clearly. But looks like you're going to be stabbed by someon-"

Hidungnya berdarah. Tiba-tiba kedua-dua hidung Ryan berdarah. Dia meletakkan anaknya ke bawah lalu badannya tertunduk sedikit sambil dia terbatuk beberapa kali. Aku pula hanya berdiam diri. Tak tahu nak buat apa di waktu-waktu genting macam ni.

"Hah....This is why I don't like having to look for someone else's death but here we are! Stuck with this uncrontable power for the rest of my life!!"

Okay. Easy there. Don't vent on me. I also have my own problem right now.

Ryan sudahnya menolak rambut depannya ke belakang sambil mengelap kasar sisa darah yang masih mengalir dari kedua-dua belah nostrils nya.

"Look. I don't who you are, and why I suddenly can see your....death. But listen here, one thing for sure. If you try to stop this death of yours, I can make sure you. I'm the one who's going to die in exchange."

What? What the hell is this guy talking about? Habis tu macam mana dia boleh hidup sampai sekarang dengan habiskan waktu hidupnya ni dengan melihat orang lain punya kematian?

"What the hell with those looks? Both of you! Didn't even want to believe me?"

Aku mengalihkan pandangan ke arah Shuu. Nampaknya dia pun tak percaya dengan kata-kata si lelaki Ryan ni...

"I'm not lying! You see here. Do you think I'm dumb? I've been trying to search for answers for the rest of my life on the questions, 'how the hell am I supposed to save people that keep appearing in my dream? And for what cost actually?'!!!"

Bahu anaknya ternaik sedikit bila dia meinggikan suaranya di akhir ayat tu.

"You expect me to not never think of these questions before? I've tried. I have....tried. But in return, I keep coughing blood. Vomit blood. Have a nosebleed. And in the end, my lung had collapsed before. So I promised myself that I will never save those who I don't know in my dreams ever. Again. I have a....family now. I don't want to risk that."

Aku terdiam.

F*ck. I have said never vent on me before. Wait. Did I tell him? Okay. Whatever. So, in conclusion, Ryan yang akan mendapat musibahnya kalau dia cuba selamatkan orang-orang yang dia pernah nampak dalam mimpi kematiannya tu.

It's logic actually. Because his power is too powerful anyway. So in return, he's the one who's getting hurt.

Okay.

"I understand. We will take our leave now."

* * *
"Don't want his help?"

"He's useless. If we ever need to save someone who is close to use in his dream, I'm really convinced that he will die. And...."

Aku memberhentikan langkah sambil sebelah tangan menggosok leher. Keluhan berat dilepaskan sebelum menyambung kata semula.

"...He has a family. Aku tak naklah kacau benda precious macam tu."

Giliran Shuu pula mengeluh.

"Okay fine. That's your decision. But...."

Shuu tiba-tiba mengeluarkan pedang barunya yang dibuat oleh Hephaestus tu ke arah aku. Hujung mata pedanganya dihalakan ke arah leher aku.

Pandangan ditebarkan ke sekeliling.

Wow. How the hell kitorang dah berjalan jauh sampai dah berpijak dekat padang rumput tak berpenghuni sesiapa ni?

Pandangan kembali dialihkan ke arah Shuu yang pada sudahnya berkata;

"Why the f*cking hell your eyes are red since before?"