SEE YOU IN HEAVEN [FANTASERIES #2]

Chapter Thirty Nine: Reason

CHAPTER THIRTY NINE: 

REASON 

Casper's eyes widened, and for the first time, I saw Heidee's surprised expression too. They seem not to expect my presence as they know I was still peacefully sleeping inside my room.

"Speak." I said with firmness in my voice, trying to keep my tears at bay.

"Nemesis—" natigilan si Casper ng tignan ko siya. I focused on Heidee who looked uneasy.

"Let's do it now," I said.

The sleepiness and hunger were already gone because of what I heard. Casper was still in state of shock, the same as Heidee. They don't know how to react as I am in front of them, ready to fight execute what I heard. If there's a way then we must do it right away, not like this that we're wasting damn time celebrating for nothing, and waking up in the morning as if nothing.

"Nemesis..." Heidee sighed. "It is not what you think—"

"Then what?!" My voice raised. Unti-unting tumulo ang luha ko. Maybe I was this sudden desperate and frustrated because of what I heard. "Don't tell me it is not what it is, I heard what I heard, and don't make me stupid!"

Napahilamos siya sa mukha niya. "Will you please calm the fuck down?!" tumaas na 'rin ang boses ni Heidee. Handa na niya akong patulan. I don't care either. If she will put up a fight, then bring it on, as long as she will give me what I want.

"Teka! Kalma!" pumigtna si Casper sa amin. "Heidee, usap tayo mamaya..."

"No!" agap ko. "We should talk—"

Heidee seem to reached her patience. She held my right elbow tightly. It was painful but I didn't let her get her way with me. "Stop being impulsive, Nemesis! This is a life and death situation and you know nothing but to put up a tantrum as if you're so fucking important!"

"Heidee! Anak ng!"

"And may I remind you, Casper is already dead. There is a way, but that is beyond possible now because his body is already 6 feet below the ground, you got me?!" that's all she said before she left me with Casper. All I heard from her was the slamming of the guestroom's door.

I was left standing there. Casper doesn't know what to do while looking at me, but after a while, he held the sides of my shoulders and pushed me to sit carefully on the high stool chair. Parang bata niya akong inalalayan pero wala roon ang atensyon ko.

I keep looking at him. He was silent but his face clearly says that he's uneasy. Heidee's words slowly sinks in the longer I stare at him. I avoided my gaze to stop the thoughts. I know that he's already dead. I was even in his wake that time but the longer I stare at him, the more I realized that knowing that he's already dead and buried is not enough. I know to myself that I can't accept it.

Alam ko naman e. Hindi ko lang matanggap.

"D-doing the impossible... makes it possible right?" I asked Casper.

He just looked at me with comfort he could muster in his eyes. He smiled. "Kain ka muna, nagluto na ako ng ramen dahil iyon ang gusto mo kagabi diba?"

"Casper..." pilit kong itinatago ang hikbi ko, the same way he's hiding the pain beneath his eyes.

Simula nang matutunan kong basahin ang nasa mga mata niya ay hindi na naalis ang sakit doon. I tried to ignore it, the way people ignored mine back then, but seeing it in the other's eyes, I can't seem to look away. I felt like I was obliged to take the pain away from those eyes because I have the means.