SEE YOU IN HEAVEN [FANTASERIES #2]

Epilogue

EPILOGUE

Casper's Point of View

"Take law instead! Fulfill your brother's dream! Cianna will take over the company! That's an order, Casper!"

Maybe that's how it started. It was the most unexpected decision that my father has ever made.

My brother died in a car accident, months ago. I didn't even saw him grieve for his death. My mom shed few tears but that's just it. After that, tuloy ang buhay na para bang walang nangyari, samantalang kami ni Cianna ay para kaming naputulan ng paa dahil sa nangyari.

My brother was taking law, 1st year student, when the accident happened. He didn't want to handle the hospital and become a doctor. He dreamt of becoming a lawyer so the inheritance of our hospital was passed down on me. Walang problema iyon sa akin.

I really wanted to become a doctor. A surgeon.

But then, my parents messed it up. I took NMAT but I failed. I was surprised when I received an email for law school admission. Ni hindi nga ako nag-exam doon. Ni hindi ako pamilyar sa kung ano mang mayroon sa legal circle—government and all that shit regarding law. I waited for my parents to come home, and tama nga ako.

They used their connections so I can enter law school.

They know that my brother, Sage really wanted to become a lawyer. It was his dream but now that he's dead, hindi na iyon matutuloy. My parents wanted to honor my brother's dream using me. I know they could be controlling and authoritarian to the point na hindi na magulang ang labas nila kung hindi ay isa ng commander—and we're just a mere soldier with no other choice but to obey, pero tangina. Sobra naman na 'to.

Pangarap ko na 'yung pinag-uusapan. Bakit...ganito?

Pangarap ko 'yun e...

My parents wanted to make-up for their short comings as a parent using me. They're too busy managing our hospital that they forgot that they have three children waiting for them to be a home, and now that Sage is dead, gusto nilang mag-mukhang mabuting magulang gamit ako.

Using me huh... ang gago naman 'non. Ano ako gamit?

I know that they're favorite child was my brother. I get it. They didn't mind my brother not taking over our hospital because they prioritize his dream, and passed down it on me. Ayos iyon sa akin dahil kahit papano ay pangarap ko, at gusto ko 'rin... but I don't know that their insane parenting would go this extent—stripping me off my dream forcefully.

Never nila akong pinaboran... o nakita.

Pero tangina, anak 'din naman nila ako.

I tried applying for other medical schools but everyone turned me down. It didn't surprise me knowing my father's connections. It left me no choice but to take Law... bagay na hindi ko gusto. Bagay na ginagawa ko pero wala akong... hindi ko makuhang maging masaya.

I thought it was normal. I tried. I focused that maybe, weeks or months after, I would learn to love what I'm doing. To cope up with it, and to distract myself, I did my habit. Studying while fucking women every night. That was my escape for me not to think that my dream that I grew up with is gone.

But... it wasn't enough. I wasn't able to cope up.

"Oy, Kim! Long time no see ah!" Napalingon ako sa tumawag sa apilyedo ko. Nasa isa akong coffee shop. Busy sa sandamakmak na case digest na kapag natapos ko e wala na akong pakialam na alamin o matuto pa nang higit sa sinabi sa'min ng prof. This became a compliance not a goal. This feels empty.