Fangirl || Tyler Seguin

50

My eyes fluttered open, I remember last night so vividly. It doesn't even feel like I was drunk, last night. I'm not sure if last night was a mistake or I made a good decision.

Tyler and I are in a good spot, I didn't wanna fuck it up with feelings. I don't want him to hurt me again.

I rolled over and Tyler wasn't in bed with me. He's probably cleaning up the aftermath of last night.

I got up, went into Tyler's closet and grabbed a random t-shirt and put it on along with my underwear.

I walked downstairs, Tyler was picking up trash in the living room. The place looks like it was robbed, that's how tore up it is.

"Good morning, beautiful" he smiled as I helped him clean up.

"Good morning" I replied.

"I really enjoyed last night" he smirked, walking up behind me and smacking my ass.

"Me too" I told him.

"I'm so happy that I could be your first" he told me. I nodded. I'm not sure how I feel about this situation, I don't want our friendship to be messed up because of this, I don't want it to make old feelings resurface.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, just still waking up" I lied. I'm conflicted. I don't know how I feel.

"Okay..." he replied, not believing me.

"I'm fine, really" I assured him, shooting him a fake smile.

"You know you can tell me if something is bothering you" he told me.

"Yes, Tyler, I know" I replied, annoyed.

"Seriously, what is wrong? You're not acting like yourself" he asked, yet again.

"Nothing is wrong!" I snapped.

"If nothing is wrong, then why are you being so standoff-ish?" He asked. I guess I need to crack to get him off my back.

"I'm not sure how I feel about last night." I admitted, sitting down on the couch.

"What do you mean? I thought that was what you wanted?" He asked, sitting next to me.

"Yeah, when we were together. Our friendship is just now becoming stable, I'm terrified that what we did last night is gonna bring up old feelings and destroy the good thing we've got going on right now" I explained, putting my face in my hands.

"It's not gonna destroy anything, and if it brings up old feelings and they're neutral, what's stopping us from getting back together?" He asked.

"I don't want to be hurt again. You've hurt me every time we've been together. We work better as friends" I told him.

"I guess your fourteen year old self didn't expect you to not want to be with the guy that you were obsessed with" he chuckled. Clearly, I struck a nerve because his whole demeanor changed.

"I wasn't obsessed, I was a fangirl, and plus- fourteen year old me didn't know you on a personal level and didn't think you would cheat on me" I shot back.

"I regret doing that and I wish I could go back and change it. You were the best thing to have ever happened to me and I guess I have a tendency to fuck up the good things that enter my life" he sighed.

"I wish you could change it too" I replied.

"Will there ever be an 'us' again?" He asked.

"No, at least not for the foreseeable future, things might change but for right now, I don't think being together is the right move" I told him.

"Will I be able to prove that we can be together again without me hurting you?" He asked.

"I don't know..." I shrugged.

"Please let me show you that I can be a good boyfriend, it kills me to see you with other men when I'm still in love with you." He pleaded.

"I have to think about it" I replied. I didn't wanna think about it, I liked what we had going for us prior to last night, I liked being his friend.

I know he still wasn't over me, at this point, especially after us doing the dance with no pants last night, I don't think he's ever going to get over me.

I need time to be single, I was stupid enough to jump into another relationship after Tyler cheated on me and I don't think I've made time to think about myself at all in the past year.

Holy shit, Tyler and I would have been together for a year in three and a half weeks if we didn't break up. It's crazy to think about.

I went from being some crazed fangirl who snuck into the locker room to being in a relationship with Tyler freaking Seguin to only being friends with him.

Teenaged me wouldn't have ever thought this would happen. I guess I'm still technically a teenager, at least for five more days, then I turn 20.

Let's hope this year is better than last year...