Namjoon Likes Black Girls • Namjoon Centric •

34

Namjoon left to go back to his own room a little while ago. He knows what he's doing... he has to. Getting so close to me, so intimately... is it bad to say that... I'm turned on by it?

Oh my god, yes.

I sat up in bed, anxiously hugging my body. I'll never be able to sleep with these thoughts. But I can't stop thinking of how it feels to be in his arms... and how his breath tickles my neck...

Ah I wish I had my best friend right now... having to just feel these feelings, not knowing if I'm just being delusional and overthinking this. Or if the butterflies in my stomach are justified. I'm gonna go crazy just overthinking about whether I'm overthinking or not. My phone buzzed beside me.

NJ: go to bed

NJ: you're shuffling too much, you must be awake

What should I even say? "I'm awake because I can't stop thinking about you." No, too forward. "Maybe I'd sleep better in your b-" No, god I feel guilty to be turned on right now.

NJ: I'm having trouble sleeping too...

NJ: I'll come over there, it might be easier to sleep that way.

My eyes couldn't be wider after reading that. He's gonna share a bed with me? Seriously?? He can't sleep either? Could he... be feeling the same..? I really don't want this to turn into 50 shades of grey. Namjoon is just a really close friend and there's nothing romantic between us-

The door opened and Namjoon shuffled in with his messy bed head and sleepy smile. His clothes were pretty roughed up as well, this look on him... holy fuck.

"I hope you don't mind." His voice was 10x deeper too, god please don't do this to me. "When the guys and I can't sleep, we usually sleep in the same bed. It's something about another presence that is comforting enough to calm a busy mind." He mumbled all the way until he was crawling into the other side of the bed. "Don't worry, I'll keep my distance." He smiled and gave me a sleepy thumbs up.

Zaina, just hold it together. Don't act on your hormones, think with your brain, not your vagina. You stronger than this. It don't matter how much he teases and turns you on, maintain your composure and stand your ground. Breath in, and out.

"Are you ok?" I looked over to see him staring at me. I nervously reached to turn off the only light that was on. "Your movements are strange."

"J-Just thinking about something... tryna pull myself together." I chuckled and cleared my throat, laying back down on the bed. The room was now pitch black and silent so I tried to just close my eyes and try to sleep.

There was a little shuffling, which I assumed was him getting comfortable. Until I felt him touch my arm, pulling it off of where it was laying over my stomach. I mentally prepared myself for combat since I had no idea what he was doing. But he was only touching my arm, guiding it to lay flat on the bed where his fingers slipped between mine. He was holding my hand.

"I know you're still awake... so if anything I did made you feel uncomfortable, I'm sorry... whatever it was, I'm sorry that I did that and I want you to tell me so that I can do better." His voice was very soft, yet still deep. "I've never felt uncomfortable with you, so you don't have to worry about that. You've become a happy charm in my life... like Jimin... except even smaller and cuter.. and a girl, which makes me happier. So if I've done something that you didn't like, I want to discuss it." His thumb rubbed the back of my hand.

I turned around until I saw his face, only to see him staring at the ceiling. He let out a breath.

"Why would you think that?" I asked softly.

"Because... I've been acting before thinking lately. And I've basically been forcing you to be close to me. And since you don't really go out of your way to do the same, I'd assume that you don't want me the same."

"I never said that... I just... you work a lot, from early morning to late night, so I try not to get in the way. But... the type of stuff you do is new to me, guys don't act like this where I'm from. So I'm a little slow to respond because I gotta mentally assess the situation, but in the end, I always hug you back right?"

"Yeah, you always hug me back." He chuckled. "You don't have to worry about my work schedule, I'd love nothing more after a long day than to check my phone and see that you texted me. And when I'm home, it's free real estate. You're welcome to interact with me as much as you want. You should never feel like you're in the way." He looked over at me towards the end do the sentence.

"Can I ask a question?"

"Of course."

"Are you... purposely flirting with me?" I asked calmly as to maintain my composure.

"No... not purposely. I didn't even know that I was flirting..." Great job Zaina, you let your hormones drive and now we're in a fender bender in the intersection of jumping-to-conclusions road and assuming-someone's-feelings avenue. "But... I thought you were the one flirting. I was just responding." He chuckled.

"I flirted? I suck ass at flirting! I couldn't flirt someone into having interest in me if my life depended on it." I exclaimed.

"Well... there's many things about you that could pull people in. You're an eye catcher from a mile away, and then your personality..." He let out a breath. "All of the guys have threatened to make their move on you. So you don't have to flirt to attract interest."

"Did they really?" I raised both brows and he hummed a yes. I was honestly shocked, all of the guys faces popping in my head. "I wouldn't be mad about it." I pulled a Debby Ryan, brushing the elastic of my bonnet over my ear.

"You have interest in them as well?" His voice was a little softer.

"Well... Jin, Hoseok, and Yoongi are kinda cute. But I'm not looking for anything serious right now." I chuckled.

"I see." His tone was much different and his grip on my hand loosened.

"Namjoon? You good?" I sat up on my elbows.

"You don't want something serious, we should not get so close." When I realized why he was acting like this, I scooted closer to him, purposely cuddling into his body with my head on his shoulder.

"I was talking about them... you're in a separate category." Namjoon actually got jealous when I mentioned that the other guys were cute. He got... jealous... "I-I didn't mean to make you jealous..." 

"I didn't get jealous... I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable by acting like this to you..." I sat up, looking over at him with a cheeky smile. Although it was dark, I could still see him and I assumed the same for him.

"You sure?" I chuckled, it couldn't be more obvious that he was lying. He nodded, avoiding eye contact. "Namjoonie..?"

"You're doing that on purpose." He chuckled as he couldn't resist looking over at me again.

"Doing what?" I shrugged.

"Calling me... Namjoonie... it's so cute." He giggled, sitting up a little with me. He's the cute one, his laugh is the most lovable sound I've ever heard.

"You need to sleep, don't sit up." I shyly looked away. He really made my heart flutter, giggling and looking at me like that. With it being so late at night that even though I could barely even see him, it made the sound of his voice even more enjoyable.

"My heart gets so fast around you." It caught me off guard that he said that, but has he held back before? "I never get shy... but with you, I can never be confident."

"W-why are you talking like this..?" I mumbled after shoving his arm.

"I thought it would be nice to tell you. I don't ever want you to be confused about how I feel." The sheets shuffled as he laid back down.

"O-oh... thanks." I nervously chuckled.