Namjoon Likes Black Girls • Namjoon Centric •

69

.Namjoon.

I'm over the moon right now. I can't believe that I'm seeing her again! What I can't believe most that she still smiles at me, just like she used to. My heart is beating a thousand times a minute but I'm just trying to play it off. I don't even know what to do, like I'm struggling to even concentrate on eating because my mind is all over the place.

"Have you been okay, Joonie? Mentally?" Her voice interrupted my thoughts, making me look up from my plate to see her watching me.

"Yeah, I've been good... kinda..." I don't wanna worry her, but I don't want to lie either. Fuck it. "I can't lie to you. The past two months have been hell. But I'm back in heaven now so I'm great." I nodded.

"We unfortunately felt the same then." She then put her fork down. "There were times, late at night, when I would catch myself looking up plane tickets, from Atlanta to Seoul. There were so many times where I'd went to the website, picked an airline, typed in my card information... all just to close the tab. I wish that I didn't have the problems with trusting people like I do, but it doesn't matter how much I try to help myself, there's always going to be a doubt that I shouldn't trust the person I saw as genuine." She leaned on her hands, elbows on her knees, staring at a random spot on the bed. "And feeling that about you... it didn't feel right."

I just stayed quiet and let her talk, watching her attentively, admiring every gorgeous feature of her face that I'd been missing for so long. Watching her adorable doe eyes travel along the bed...

"I usually trust my gut feeling, if I can't trust nobody else. But this time, it felt like that feeling was wrong. I took the time to listen to the people around me. My mom wasn't biased by actually knowing about y'all. She kept me grounded and out of my head. My little sister freaked out when she found out that I knew you, but she kept what she knew to herself and gave me lots of insight on you guys; showed me a lot of your music videos and stuff too. And then my best friend, she gave me advice that fit my situation, knowing the difficulties I already have. If I hadn't talked to my sister first, my friend would have literally brought me here herself, 100%."

"I'll have to thank them all for encouraging you to see us again. Can I still not meet your family yet?" I chuckled when her eyebrows furrowed.

"Nice try. My mom was on the verge of calling the police just hearing that I wanted to see you again."

"I feel like we'll get along." I pursed my lips, nodding.

"Let's hope so. Because if she doesn't like you, it's game over bro." She sighed.

"So there's a chance that I might meet her?" I raised my eyebrows. She just smiled and rolled her eyes.

"What did I say? Not until there's a ring on my finger." She waved a finger at me. I just bit my bottom lip and looked down sneakily. "Don't tell me you actually..."

"I don't have it with me... I didn't think I'd see you. And if I did, I didn't think you'd still like me enough to take it..." I nervously rubbed the back of my neck.

"If you didn't think that I'd take it, why'd you still buy it?" She seemed a little sullen, surprisingly.

"Because I was going to give it to you anyway. I don't care if you throw it away, or sell it, or flush it down the toilet... I just want you to have it." I slowly admitted, putting my fork down.

"That's stupid Namjoon!" She whined, playfully hitting my arm. "Don't do that, dude. I don't even want to know how much you spent on it."

"It was a lot less than the bracelet." I chuckled. She tilted her head in confusion. "You didn't open the box?" She then looked away.

"No, I opened the box... I read the note..." She tried to play off a smile by clearing her throat. "B-but there was nothing else in the box."

"I'm sorry, I forgot to put the gift in the box. I don't have that on me either, it's all back in Korea." I stressfully held my forehead. "Should I mail it to you?"

"I was going to visit you guys again after this tour. Since I didn't know you were on tour, and wanted to go back to Korea anyway. I didn't see any of the monuments or cultural events or anything."

"Do you wanna come around during Chuseok? It's like the Korean version of American thanksgiving. It's not on the same day but it's still in November." I went back to eating while she had already finished her food.

"If it's like thanksgiving, doesn't that mean you should spend time with your families?"

"We won't be able to this year. We're booked for shootings, interviews, commercials, Army projects,  TV show appearances and performances. Not to mention that we're working on our next album as well. It's supposed to be one of our busiest projects yet." I listed off on my fingers, not even naming everything. The hour long agency meetings, 6-10 hour dance practices, collaboration meetings. And I, as the leader, have a lot more business meetings to attend than the rest of the guys. We already have concerts and performances booked until next February. 

"Jesus dude. Do you ever get a break?" She gasped. "I didn't realize how big you guys were, like I was staying with you while you were shooting a music video and all that stuff. That must have been mad stressful dude." She sighed.

"Every other day, we get two hours to do what we like. After that we're sent back to the building for three hours of independent working which includes practicing, making music, or fan service. Sometimes we catch up on sleep but not when we're this busy."

"You only get two hours to catch up on sleep, occasionally???! You were up to the booty crack of dawn with me! I had to forcefully drag you to bed because otherwise, you'd stay up all night and come home about to pass out!" She scolded me, her eyes wide in surprise.

"But!" I put my hand up. "When recording music videos or concerts, we do get a little bit of free time. Most of that time is occupied by eating, but it's still less of a workload compared to the normal schedule."

"And... right now? You just finished a concert earlier, you came back a couple hours ago, and the first thing you had to do was a meeting." She seemed more concerned than anything.

"That doesn't usually happen, as the leader of the group, when there's problems or objections in how we do things, I'm the one who has to hear it and get scolded." I laughed a little, thinking back at how disappointed Chairman Bang was after seeing Jimin and Jin fighting on stage. He told me to sort it out immediately and try to avoid it happening again. "But other than that, we're working on a collaboration right now and so Yoongi and I, as the main producers, have meetings with our company producers to talk about stuff. But I had that meeting before the concert. But this one, he's my boss, he was checking in on me and the album progress."

"I can't imagine living this life. It's so busy, how do you keep it together? You specifically? You're basically the dad here, watching over six kindergartners."

"It's quite the opposite actually. I'm the leader, technically. But, I only lead when it's necessary, I tend to stay on the sidelines and guide from behind. If anything, Jin and Yoongi are the guardians." I chuckled, thinking back to memes that Army have circulated. "They're oldest. Yoongi hyung is most mature and Jin hyung is very caring."

"Speaking of them? How's the rest of the guys doing?" She leaned forward to put her empty plate back on the tray it came in on.

"They're good actually. They'd freak out if they knew you were back. Especially Jimin."

"Jimin? Really?" Her head tilted.

"He really got hurt the other day, because he practiced choreography for like 11 hours straight and came back limping and bruised. He was just dancing to distract himself. We're happy when we're busy, then we're too busy to be sad." I smiled.