Namjoon Likes Black Girls • Namjoon Centric •

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I kept rereading Kendall's texts. She explained things in a way that I never even considered. He even mentioned that he didn't want to stack the truth on top of all I was going through. He didn't want to burden me with his celebrity status.

And I can understand that it's not easy to trust just anyone, I can relate to that too much. They all trusted me and I just left them in the dark, not even a goodbye. I doubt it's easy for them to go out and hang out with people, women especially, but they did it for me to make me happy.

Even when Kendall mentioned that he seemed so guilty to have lied about this one thing that she doubts that he lied about anything else, since he clearly didn't like to. And that was one of the main things that made me angry in the first place. If they could all lie about one thing so big, who knows how many tiny things that were lies too.

But BTS aren't liars. They did what they felt necessary and not because they wanted to lie for fun or something.

I can't sit here and say that they meant a lot to me and not consider how much I must have hurt them by ghosting them.

I have to talk to them. I need to. Kendall was right. I should meet with them again to talk it out.

But who do I contact? I don't want to talk to Namjoon until I see him in person. I don't think I can mentally express my feelings through text.

But I don't want to text all of the others without him. Should I contact one of them and just see how their doing? ...Yeah. I'll do that. But who?

>>><<<

I waited a little later into the night for time difference purposes. It reached about 5pm before I finally got the courage to go to my contact list. I slowly went to his number and unblocked him, letting out a sigh to relief afterwards. I then went to text messages to text him.

Hi Jin

It's Zaina

I'm sorry

I basically threw my phone onto the couch after sending those messages, throwing myself onto the kitchen counter in distress. But I heard just one vibrations, making my heart skip a beat as I walked back to my phone.

SJ: OMG ZAINA

SJ: HI HI

SJ: ITS KIM SEOKJIN WWH

I'm so glad to talk to you again

Please don't tell anyone I texted you

SJ: Yoonki knows

How lol

SJ: I um tell him

That's okay

Just no one else please lol

SJ: omg Zaina we miss you

SJ: we sorry to lie

Lol it's cool it's cool

I understand why you did it

How are you guys doing?

SJ: me? Ok

SJ: Namjoon? No ok

What? Why