Namjoon Likes Black Girls • Namjoon Centric •

54

I just couldn't stop thinking about the talk that I had with my mom. What she said, then reading the note... I've never felt so conflicted in my life. I want to just push they lying to the side and see them again, but I've had too much experience with liars.

They're sweet and apologetic at first, they reel you back in with empty promises and expensive gifts, and then once's you're back in their grip, they lie again. Even stronger lies than the first time because they know that they'll get away with it again if they could do it once.

And Namjoon? I didn't want to see him in that light, I never wanted to call him, or any of them, a liar. Because in my eyes, that's one of the worst insults in existence.

Yes he gave small lies here and there, but once I exposed him, he told the truth. God Zaina, the red flags are beaming. Just another page in my book of trauma, I suppose. As if the first two guys weren't bad enough.

The first one, I was with him for two months before he cheated on me with my ex best friend. And my stupid ass took him back, just for him to do it AGAIN WITH THE SAME HOE. Oooh calm down Zaina... all because I wouldn't have sex with him because I was a virgin. He threatened to leave me for her unless I did, so like dumbass, I did. And he left me for her anyway.

The second guy was worst because he was my crush for almost all of my high school years. And when he finally spoke to me my senior year. He told me I was cute and invited me out to a classmate's party. I went, and I trusted him as my safe place in a crowd of drunk teens. Until he walked up to me, offered me a drink... and I woke up naked.

I can't say that I've ever trusted anyone the same since. I didn't even tell my mom about that night because I didn't even know what happened. I lied and told her that I was going to a friend's house to study, but instead I went to a party and...

I could only sigh and roll over in bed.

I wanted Namjoon to be someone that I could keep, someone who could teach me how to trust again. That's what breaks me the most. But it's foolish of me to wish that from a man I knew for two weeks. Fucking dumbass.

Never trust a pretty smile.

>>><<<
.Namjoon.

"JOON-AH! Has anyone seen him?" Hoseok screamed my name through the halls, waking me from my deep slumber. "Is he still in there?? Is no body gonna wake him up? He's been sleeping for 14 hours already!" His voice and footsteps hurriedly approached. "Yah! Joon!" Hoseok storming in, flicking on the light, making me cover my burning eyes with my hands. Hoseok sighed and turned the light back off and closed the door. I assumed that he left until I heard his footsteps approaching. "Namjoon it's been a month already, you can't keep sleeping for days like this! You're gonna deteriorate into the mattress at this point. We start touring next month, we have promotions all week, Army can't see you like this... we don't like seeing you like this." He mumbled and sat at the end of the bed.

"Like what? I've only been sleeping. I haven't changed." I mumbled and rubbed my eyes.

"When was the last time you picked up a book?" The room went silent. "We forced you to move back into the dorms with us because Yoongi and Jimin didn't think that you'd survive living on your own."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I rolled to the other side and sighed.

"Why are you denying your pain. We've all come to terms that this is just how it is now. We didn't want to accept it like that but we have jobs. Dude we have people that come to us for happiness. They've already noticed that you've been more quiet and withdrawn in the Black Swan reaction video. If you're sad, they're sadder. That's the only reason why we're just pushing through this and trying to move on." He admitted softly.