ᴛᴇᴀʀ ᴍᴇ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ

staying quiet

october 14, 2019

i liked waking up and seeing billie. i liked waking up and feeling arms wrapped around my waist. i think these are the times where she mentally warms me up when i don't feel cold anymore but instead i feel loved.

she was still asleep, but i'd been awake for a while now, just staring at her and playing in her hair.

i think it's scary to say that i'm actually in love with her but i'm not really afraid of the love per se.

there are times, times where i feel like she doesn't even wanna be friends with me at all.
but the good times always overweigh the bad, i think.

i was about to get up but billie pulls on me "where are you going" her voice was raspy and low.

"home," i said, i was thinking of just getting a ride to school since we missed the bus. i don't know why my mom refused to just get me a car.

"no" billie drags out "don't leave."

i chuckle and get back in bed with her, "okay."

she smiles while opening her eyes, and looking into mine. gosh, how did she look like this when she woke up? how was she so perfect?

billie chuckles while pulling me into her, there was barely any space between us and i was, unfortunately, enjoying every moment of it.

she only stares and touches my cheek, billie licks her lips "i don't wanna go to school" she whispers.

i shrug "let's not then."

billie smiles "okay, what do you wanna do today," i think for a moment, i didn't care as long as it was with her.

"anything," i say, she smiles wider "anything?"

"anything" i chuckle.
-
i was staring into the dressing room mirror, unhappy with what was staring back at me.

billies mom, maggie, had dropped us off at the mall for the day cause apparently, this is what billie wanted to do.

we had been in and out of stores for a while now, and now we were in 'forever 21.'

i didn't shop here but billie says i should so here we are.

she had basically picked everything out, things i did not feel comfortable with but whatever makes her happy, right?

i adjusted the crop top and ripped jeans that i had put onto my body, before walking out of the dressing room.

billie looks up with a smile, i smile in return.

"look at you" she beams "spin."

i spin, and billie speaks "you look pretty in this type of stuff."

this type of stuff?

i was lying if i said i dressed pretty, i usually wore sweatpants, leggings, and sweatshirts all the time.
and when it was summer, i wore basketball shorts and a hoodie.

nothing revealing unless billie buys me something.

i hum, and return into the dressing room to try on another thing billie had thrown into my hands.