ᴛᴇᴀʀ ᴍᴇ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ

her touch burns

authors note: did not proof read cause i'm lazy and tired, i'm so sorry this took so long everything is just going so wrong. i love you all

november 4, 2019

after school, i had decided to walk myself down to the gas station. it wasn't far, but it was a pretty lengthy walk, i made it though.

as i entered the bell above me rang signaling the worker to greet me "welcome let me know if you need anything."
the voice sounded familiar, but i ignore it and walk through the aisle.

i finally gather all of my snacks and take them to the register, as i look at the worker he smiles at me and he rings up my things.

"lonely girl," he says, i furrow my eyebrows before recognizing him.
"hey," i say leaning on the counter, he chuckles and shakes his head "hi, how are you?"

i sigh, "okay, you?"

"fine," he finished ringing my stuff up and putting my receipt in the bag. "what's your name stranger" i laugh, he fidgets with his pink locs "trey— trey brookes."

"cute," i responded, trey smiles "yours?"

"zya."

"well zya," trey begins "can i have your number?"

i chuckle and run my hands down my face "mhm."

as i finish giving the boy my information i get going, not wanting to hold myself up with more conversation. i could feel myself starting to shut down, i needed billie.

i needed just a fucking hug from her, anything, but i was being ignored. i hated not talking to her, i hated not even getting a text back from her.

i always seemed to drive billie away for a long period of time, i don't know what i did this time but i miss her.

and i wished she'd talk to me.
-
"sometimes i wanna scream 'i hate you,' though i don't mean it," i play with the ends of my braids "i do wish i could hate her, even if it was just for a day. i hate having to rely on billie, and i hate myself for loving her even after horrible things she's done."

adjusting myself to sit crisscross i sigh "i don't know, she's just everything to me, and for some reason—no matter what she does, i'm still so in love with her."

a small chuckle leaves treys plump lips as he sits upon the tickling grass, "you're that in love with her? i mean what's so special about this girl?"

i unconsciously smile bringing my hands up to touch my cheeks as they begin to warm at the thought. "she's everything i have, and she's been there the most. she's my person, my one thing i can rely on." i look at him, the moonlight highlighting his perfect skin "you don't have a person?"

trey laughs, sitting up fully now, "no, i don't do love or anything of the sort," he sighs with a small smile "i did though. i did."

i nod, i don't know if i should push the topic out of him, so we sit in comfortable silence.

the breeze sent chills down my spine, the only sound being the satisfying crinkle of the fallen leaves.

i sigh in content, for the first time, in a while, i feel— okay?

not necessarily good, but i feel okay right now. with the silence, actual good silence, not the one where my thoughts are running and i can't get out of my head.