ᴛᴇᴀʀ ᴍᴇ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ

my drug

october 7, 2019

my head rested on the foggy bus window, different colored leaves flowing beneath the wheels as we drove through the dark neighborhood.

the sun has yet to rise, making the bus window hard to see out of.

my airpods were in my ear, playing softly, as the bus was dead silent the only sound being the creaking of the raggedy old material.

my bookbag occupied the seat next to me, saving a seat for my best friend.

we came to a stop, signaling we were picking up more kids, i make room for the girl coming on and move my things to the floor.

not too long after the doors swung open i was met with the sound of chains dancing on her neck. soon my nose filled with vanilla and a hint of boys cologne.

before sitting, billie puts her book bag onto the floor. she sits, letting her head immediately fall into my lap.

i bring my hand up to let my white acrylics scratch at her black hair "nightmares?"

i feel her head nod, brushing my hands through her hair i sigh.

"you have 10 minutes until we get to school, try and sleep," i say and billie nods again as i hear a soft "okay."

and even though she said she would, she didn't. i could feel her breathing but it stayed the same the whole time. her hand lightly stroked over my lower leg now and then from the bus going over bumps.

a little while later we arrived in the bus lane, billies head lifted as she stretched and sighed, "you okay" i asked.

her eyes were low and her hair covered her face slightly. she looked pretty. her lips were parted as she stretch, her tongue darted out to lick her bottom lip as she scanned my face before answering.

"mhm," billie said as we walked out the bus and into the loud school building. she practically winced at the noise, i brought my hand to her head letting her lay on my shoulder while we walked.

"thank you, love," she said, i only nodded, a slight blush creeping onto my cheeks.

though i should be used to it i still can't help the swarm of butterflies in my stomach. it'd always been "angel" or "love" for as long as i can remember, never really my name.

we sat in our seats in 1st period, billie keeping her head on my shoulder. i sighed as i looked at her "you want some food, i have some" i offer.

i always bring her lunch, she usually forgets.

i do a lot for her, but it's not because she makes me, i just feel like i should. she deserves the world and more, id do anything for her.

"not now, thank you though," billie said "i'm just so tired" she drags out the 'o' while laying in my lap.

i hum before speaking "you can come over if you have nightmares, i always have room for you."

she smiles as i look down at her, the butterflies in my stomach erupt and attack me like a swarm of angry bees. i blush and look away, her hand creeping up to my chin as i did so.