ᴛᴇᴀʀ ᴍᴇ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ

the thought of her

october 18,2019

staring at her was almost like a dream? i wanna say, maybe she was a dream, i don't know, but i couldn't seem to wrap my head around the way she made me feel.

her dimple clear as day as she smiles on the floor, her hair falling out of its bun from rolling around too much.

i've happened to control my laughter but billie was still cracking up about a joke i made minutes ago.

im sitting here in front of her, it's 5am and it's a friday (i'm spending the night.)

i didn't wanna tell her to shut up because i don't wanna ruin this moment, this moment that i can already feel myself starting to miss.

how was i already feeling nostalgic of something that had yet to make it to the past?
times like these make our friendship worth it, which is why i'd like to freeze time and stay like this just a little longer.

billie pulls my waist as she lays on her back, forcing me on top of her.

she smiles, which makes me smile.

the heat of our bodies radiating onto each other and her breath hitting my lips from how close she just pulled me made me shiver.

i blush as her hand moves slightly up my shirt to touch my bare skin.

why did she have to be so goddam addicting?

why did she have to touch me like this, when she knew she didn't like me like that?

and why did i allow her to continue?

"you're staring at me love," billie says, her hand continuing to creep up the long-sleeved shirt i had on.

she chuckles as i take too long to respond "you just loveeee to look at me, huh?"

i hum, and nod my head. i mean who wouldn't wanna stare at her? she's perfect.

billie laughs sitting up just a little, making our chest touch and our faces uncontrollably close.

she chuckles and i feel it against my lips "my bad" was all she said but i don't respond.

is it bad i have to fight the urge to kiss her plump lips? or to run my hand up her shirt just like she's doing mine?

i wanna stop, but i couldn't stop staring, not when billie had the most desirable lips in the world.

"what, you want a kiss or something" billie joked, yeah— i do.

"no" i chuckled, i'm lying.

billie

i knew i was making her nervous, just by the way she was unconsciously gripping the bottom of my shirt and her eyes trying their best to not look at my lips.

"no" zya had said but a part of me knew it was a lie.

i chuckled, after licking my lips, she just couldn't keep her eyes off of them.

maybe i should kiss her, just for the fun of it.

zya had a problem with thinking and believing i'm her girlfriend, so why not play along?