ᴛᴇᴀʀ ᴍᴇ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ

for real?

june 15, 2020

the sun beamed down onto me and i felt as if i was gonna die; la heat is no joke and my mom pushing me around is not making anything better.

"can you just— perfect," my mom says, pushing me into yet another person i did not know, something about "they're family" though i'd never seen these people in my entire life.

"i remember when i used to babysit you," an older woman says, "look at you now—" she smiles "graduating."
all i could do was awkwardly laugh because i don't even know her name.

eventually, i manage to slip away, roaming around until i run into trey. he laughs as i catch up to him quickly, "your mom taking pictures or what?"

i nod and he smiles "that's sweet."

shaking my head with a sigh i reply  "not when you know no one."

trey shakes his head, nodding behind me "she supposed to be here?"
i turn behind me, watching as billie enters my backyard, her eyes beginning to search for mine.

i groan as i throw my head back causing trey to laugh "talk to her" he says "'maybe she wants to apologize?"

i roll my eyes, looking behind me again "i'm not ready to talk" i mutter,  beginning to walk and grab something to drink, trey following.

"you should've seen the whole thing dude like" i sip from the cold sprite can, hating the way it felt down my throat.
"she just went fucking crazy or something," my hand tightens around the can as watching billie lean against my fence has become my task.

she doesn't even truly look like she wants to be here, almost as if she just wants to argue. i wanna beat billies ass for thinking she could even come in contact with me after that bullshit she pulled upstairs, but i won't start anything. 

"damn," he says watching billie as well "she lost you for real this time, huh?"

i nod "for fucking sure."

billie

fuck me for putting on clothes to come to this stupid party, and fuck zya for not telling me about it. i cannot believe i had to find out about her graduation through instagram, she was my best friend before all of the sex, and arguments, i wanted to come regardless of our status.

i spot her immediately after i walk through her backyard gate, how couldn't i? her hair is up in a bun, seeing as it's hot as fuck today, and her graduation gown covers some of her black dress she's wearing.

i know she sees me because she's talking to trey as she stares directly at me, which i still can't believe trey and her are friends.

he's been had it out for me, i swear.

i lean against zyas fence, watching her face scrunch in disgust as she drinks sprite; she hates soda.
she always does that shit when she's out in big crowds; things that she usually doesn't do.

it's not my problem, i came here for one thing and that is to talk to zya. we need to have a sit-down, about fucking everything.

and i don't give one fuck if she doesn't, i'll drag her by the arm if i have to.
as i walk toward her i can see her roll her eyes and apologize for leaving trey behind. she points toward her back door and i get the message, walking into her house, and up to her room.