It was just
An anxiety attack.
I was given medication to
Calm down.
Pete was there.
I turned to him and laughed,
"I'd expect you to be with Pat."
"Naw, he would shut the door in my face." he laughed,
"But what happened back there???"
I looked up,
"It's my fault why Bert kissed my head. Now that means I'm cheating on Frank."
"Woah, Gerard, you didn't know until I told you, and you weren't even consicious."
I stared at my hand again,
"But... he kissed me..."
"You couldn't control it.
Say it with me:
It's. not. my. fault."
I took a couple deep breathes,
"It's not my fault."
Pete gave me a smile,
"Great."
He handed me a paper,
"I write the lyrics for our band, and this is a song I just started writing.
I'm calling it Thanks For The Memories."
I took the paper.
It would be nice to get my mind off of something.
"I'm gonna make you bend and break,
Say a prayer and the good times roll,
In case God doesn't show."
I looked up at him,
Broke out a smile,
"This is so good!!!" I giggled.
"Thanks." he smiled.
"When is your next show?" I asked, "I'm dying to see your music live. Patrick sings so good, it makes me jealous."
"We have one next month," and he winked, "I'll let you get in for free though."
I smirked back at him.
A doctor came in,
"How are you doing, Gerard?"
"Good." I smiled.
He wrote something on a clipboard.
Oh god,
It's Sykes again.
"I think you're ready to be discharged." He said.
Really??
He didn't even ask for health problems?
Medications?
What kind of doctor is this???
"But, you have one for visitor."
Who the fuck could that be?
It was Bert.
Fucking Bert.
My expression immediately soured,
"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU KISS ME. WHY?? WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL FRANK??? HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW I WAS HERE????!?!??"
"Calm down." he hushed. And even in him, I saw fear in his eyes, "I arrived at the bar and that's what people told me. So I came here to say I was sorry."
"NO, BERT. I'M NOT GOOD NOW. YOU FUCKING RUINED MY SKIN."
I was interrupted by a gag,
"BECAUSE OF YOU, I BETRAYED FRANK. YOU MADE ME BETRAY FRANK. HE'LL NEVER FORGIVE ME."
I bawled into my hands,
Screaming.
Doctors rushed in.
I was trying to throw up again,
But I only managed to spit up bile
Again.
Bert's fear turned into horror,
Like the look that Pete gave me back at that bar.
I felt saliva run down the side of my mouth,
"IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED BERT?? IS IT?? YOU WANTED THE REAL ME?? HERE IT IS."
I continued crying.
I was wiping my mouth at the same time.
"GERARD CALM DOWN." some doctors yelled at me.
My hands looked so disgusting.
"...I can't live with myself." I said.
"Holy Fuck Gerard, I'm so so so sorry. I was drunk and- I didn't know what I was thinking. Just-"
He hugged me.
I stopped crying for a second there.
"I'm sorry." he whispered in my ear, "I'm sorry."
There was something beautiful but that moment.
Beautiful enough to
calm me down.
I heaved a breath in,
"I forgive you."
YOU ARE READING
Sanity (Frerard)
Fanfiction"And what I felt was more than thumping. I felt his love for me. and I think he loves me with his soul too." .*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. •Warning: Triggers • Drug Use • Soft Sexual Content • .*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
