Waking up,
He had his arms
around me.
I poked his nose,
And laughed
as he awoke.
I jumped up
And entered his living room
before he could
catch me.
I examined the room in terror.
Everything had to be
cleaned.
it was so filthy;
And empty
needles
litered that
poor floor.
It made me question
how on earth
Bert could afford that one dress shirt for me.
....He must have bought it with drug money.
He came up behind me,
somewhat ashamed,
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
"A lot has happened for me to get here."
II
-
After calming down for a bit,
He cooked breakfast.
It was bacon, sausage, and eggs.
I wasn't used to so much meat
on one plate.
It was kinda overwhelming, but
I still ate it.
They tasted weird, but not bad.
Or maybe I'm just not used to meat anymore
Because of Frank.
Nonetheless, I still missed their taste.
I stabbed the yoke,
Watched the yellow inside bleed out.
"I never knew my mom." Bert says.
He was sitting on the opposite side
of me.
I look up.
"...And, my dad left me. And I wondered if it was because I'm bisexual. And I'm still wondering that. I guess my Dad didn't want to accept it. And as I got older, past lovers ended up leaving me too. So I thought, what's the point? You know?"
He was staring
at his filled plate.
"I really never could get myself to like anyone after that, an that's when I got into the drugs. They made me forget about this whole clusterfuck that I'm in, they took away the anxiety and depression from me, but I know, it's gotten out of hand."
He trailed off,
"...And I knew you would obliterate me whole because when I saw you, I fell."
I put down my food,
And bang my fists on the table.
"Why do you love me, Bert?"
"You were like a magnet to me," He sighed, "Call me stupid but I felt something strong about you even if I didn't know your name. And I hated myself for loving you. But I couldn't help it. The drugs couldn't even take the feeling away. Not even the heavy ones."
he didn't look at me.
Not once.
"Then, when I found out you loved Frank, I felt robbed. Even though it didn't make sense. I was hurt. And I thought if I spoiled you, you'd love me. And then that night, you told me what I was trying so hard to not accept about me."
I was silent.
"You're special, Gerard. You changed me."
He took a deep breath, "I know I don't know what love is."
He shivered, and rested his face into his hands. I could tell he was trying his hardest not to break down.
"Bert..." I got up.
I carressed him.
"Please, cry. Cry your heart out. It'll make you feel better."
Bert wailed out
into my shoulder.
"It was all I ever wanted, Gerard."
and I've found myself
kissing him.
Petting his head,
Reminding him,
"I'm here for you."
YOU ARE READING
Sanity (Frerard)
Fanfiction"And what I felt was more than thumping. I felt his love for me. and I think he loves me with his soul too." .*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. •Warning: Triggers • Drug Use • Soft Sexual Content • .*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
