Blade

Chapter 22 - Insecurity

S I E N N A

I might be the daughter of a mafia leader with beauty that leaves the jaw of every guy hanging open but I can't quite shake of the insecurity that's stirring in the deepest part of my mind. People might think that I have everything going well for me which is true but there's a small part of me that's broken, shattered and locked away in the dark part of my heart.

Since I was born into this world, I've hooked up with a handful of guys but never dated any single one of them. I didn't actually see the point of going into a relationship with someone that wants nothing from you other than to open your legs anytime he's in the mood, rather than love you for who you are.

The sex I had on a regular basis back in highschool and college were always meant to be a one time thing but what's the point when all you do is hope for the best, waiting for the right guy to come along and sweep you off your feet. It's kind of stupid anyway. That feeling is dead to me.

Staring at the beautiful ladies that waltz around the room with champagne glasses in their hand makes a spark of jealousy to ignite in me. All they do is sleep with anything that has a dick but I can't deny their flawless beauty and tanned skin– something I definitely don't have.

Maybe it's a woman's beauty that makes a guy to fall in love with them. If she isn't beautiful, the guy will just treat her like a pile of trash.

Wrapping my hand around the wine glass, I take a sip from it and let my eyes drift to the alpha male that's sitting dangerously close to me. My body is on fire from the warmth that's oozing out of him.

Our bodies are barely brushing against each other but the slight tingle that washes over my skin makes my heart to stutter.

Blade doesn't seem to be paying attention to the two men that joined our table awhile ago, his attention seemed to be fixed on the glass of  cocktail that's placed in front of him. I never pegged Blade to be the guy that drinks cocktail since his usual drink is a bottle of beer or whiskey. The cocktail contains gatorade, smirnoff ice and vodka which happens to be an okay drink but he just keeps staring at it with conflicting emotions swirling in his eyes. His lower lip slightly trembles but he gnaws at it with his teeth and balls his hands into tight fists.

Since the two guys doesn't notice that Blade is distracted, I place my drink back on the table and lean to the side to whisper in his ears.

"Are you okay?" I couldn't help but ask. The scent of his cologne makes it way into my nostrils that fog clouds my brain. I ignore the emotions that's starting to rise as my fingers lightly brushes against Blade's fisted hands.

What is wrong with me?

He flinches away from my touch with wide eyes and glances around his surroundings before he takes in a deep breath.

"Is something wrong?" My voice comes out soft and filled with concern which surprises the shit out of me.

His face instantly grows cold and emotionless like he raised a brick wall to hide what he's feeling from me making my eyebrows to knit together in total confusion.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." He curtly answers with a deadly edge to his tone.

I decide to let it go, not wanting to be yelled at in front of all this people.

"That's unbelievable." Blade joins the conversation at our table, pretending to be listening this whole time.

Rolling my eyes, I rise to my feet and excuse myself from the table but neither of them turned their attention to me.

"Excuse me? Where's the restroom?" I ask the waitress that's carrying a tray of delicious foods.

"It's right at the end of that hallway." She politely answers, pointing to the hallway that has different doors on the side.