The Sweet Silver Song || An Ashton Irwin fanfiction

Eighteen.

Ashton's POV :

I made my way over to her apartment as quickly as possible; driving over the speed limit for most of the ride as I tried to think about what I was going to tell her. I knew honesty was the only card I could play; but I wasn’t sure that telling her that I was just after seeing her desperate for me was going to make things better between the two of us.

A huge knot formed in my stomach as I got nearer and nearer and I started to slow down; I had no idea how I was going to do it; and I was so afraid of what she would tell me. Deep down I knew I deserved her to spit at me; but I was hoping that she’d just roll her eyes, shake her head and then let me take her in my arms. Yeah, a boy can dream.

I parked in front of her building and stopped the engine before taking a long breath. I ran my hands through my hair and closed my eyes for a second. I couldn’t even get my thoughts together. I grabbed the door handle and very cautiously opened it before stepping out of the vehicle.

I buried my fingers in my jean pockets and walked to the door before stopping in front of it. Maybe I should have called; first. I hesitated for a few seconds before lifting my right hand and knocking on the heavy door. My heart was beating fast as I waited for it to open; but it didn’t.

I hadn’t imagined, even for a second that she wouldn’t be there. I knocked again; a bit louder this time and waited again, but nothing happened. I then hesitantly placed my hand on the handle and pulled it down to discover that the door wasn’t locked.

I frowned before taking a step inside; I know I should have announced myself but my mouth was dry and the lump in my throat seemed to be growing bigger as I took another step and closed the door behind me. I could hear faint voices coming from her bedroom and I tried to listen to what was being said but they weren’t loud enough. I then heard steps getting louder and I froze as I waited for her to appear; I wasn’t ready for that.

My eyes widened as I saw Lynda walk through the living room; her eyes were on her phone and she didn’t see me right away. I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn’t even consider the fact that it could be someone else. She lifted her head and her eyes hardened as soon as they met my face. She stopped whatever she was doing and gave me a death glare as she opened her mouth to speak.

“What are you doing here?” she asked and it was clear that she didn’t want me here. She was probably here to try and comfort Katy and she was angry at me for breaking her best friend’s heart. I was angry at myself, too.

She gave me a questioning look as I opened my mouth but no sound came out of it. I just didn’t know how to justify myself. It was so weird to me; so new. I was never speechless; I could always get out of touchy situations by telling a pretty story; or just by saying the right thing. But the things that came through my mind didn’t sound right at all; this time.

“Look if you’re here because you feel bad about what you did and you want her back; then let me tell you, you better fucking mean it and you better spend the rest of your life not only telling her but SHOWING her how much she fucking means to you. Now if you’re not here for that then just leave now because I really want to punch you in the face right now and I think it’s just a matter of seconds.” She announced and her voice was like ice. I didn’t know she could be like that. I couldn’t blame her either. “I’m a lot tougher than I seem” she added as I still didn’t react.

“I’m here to apologize” I let out before swallowing loudly.

She looked at me for a solid second; holding my gaze; challenging me.

“If you’re just here to apologize then it’s not enough… Ashton if you’re not ready to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness then I’m not going to let you near her again.” She answered and she seemed to soften a little.