The Sweet Silver Song || An Ashton Irwin fanfiction

Thirty.

I didn't manage to even close my eyes that night. I could feel the seconds passing by and I knew that each minute brought me closer to the moment Ashton was going to come barging in this apartment and ask for an explanation.

I didn't know exactly when his plane landed so I just tried to live my life normally as I waited for the storm to come. I was petrified and I didn't even manage to eat in the morning; I just waited and waited and waited as I repeated the speech in my head.

My heart stopped beating as I finally heard a knock on my front door and I shakily got up from the chair I was sitting on before walking to it and looking through the peephole.

I took a deep breath and opened the door before stepping to the side as he immediately let himself in and took three angry steps in my living room.

"So?" he asked as he turned to me and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I... Ashton, I... How was the show?" I said as I pretended not to be able to hold his gaze.

"Typical you!" he said as he let out a dark chuckle; "I'm not here to talk about the show; who was that fucking man that answered the phone for you and why were you 'too busy' to do it yourself?" he spat.

"Look, I know how bad it sounds but I can actually explain" I started as I placed my hand in front of me and took a step toward him. He immediately took one back and he gave me a disgusted look as he started to understand where this was going; this was exactly how you'd start a sentence if you were lying about not cheating on someone. "I... Huh, Jon invited us all over and there were some of his guy friends and there's one that I already knew, the one who answered the phone and-"

"Okay, I don't care about all of that, did you or did you not fucking cheat on me?" he screamed and his face was reddening.

"No, look, listen please, the context is important-" I continued and his eyes widened as he brought his fisted hand to his mouth.

"You did!" he accused and tears of anger appeared in his eyes.

"Please try to understand" I weakly let out as I felt tears welling up in my eyes, too... And they were real ones.

"No!" he breathed out as he turned around and ran a hand thought his hair before tugging on it; fury all over his face. "No I don't want to fucking understand! For god's sake you cheated on me! I can't even believe it! I was gone for seven days! SEVEN DAYS! Was it even the first time?" he screamed and I shamefully looked at my feet as I tried to give him the impression that it had been going on for a while.

I felt like someone was digging a hole in my chest, where my heart used to be.

"So all the times you bailed on me, it was to see him?" he asked with fury. "All the times I didn't have the right to touch you or you didn't want to expose your skin it was because he had left marks?" he added and I nodded as I let the tears run down my face.

And then he started laughing, a dark, dark laugh that reminded me of the sound Chris had made just before hitting me the first time. He laughed a laugh that could only mean one thing; he was completely done.

"Oh my god! I can't even believe it!" he let out in-between laughter; "you know what? You're no better than Chris and you deserve what happened to you" he said with a smile as he looked at me deep in the eyes. "What's his name?" he asked and I started to panic as I feared to know where this was going.

"I... It doesn't matter" I told him and he shook his head as I saw him press his tongue against the inside of his left cheek; "Ashton the last time I gave you a name you went and hurt him so I'm not going to give you his"