The Sweet Silver Song || An Ashton Irwin fanfiction

Forty one.

I tossed and turned into my bed for hours. My mind was going a hundred miles an hour and I just couldn't seem to fall asleep. I reached for my phone on my bedside table and re-read Ashton's texts. It was now 3.17 a.m and I decided to text him back.

Are you sleeping?

I then let out a sigh and shook my head. He was probably sleeping; I knew he needed to. He had to get ready for the single release and he had worked so hard lately that he probably held onto every second of sleep he could have. My phone buzzed a few moments later and I jumped up in surprise before quickly opening the message.

I can't... Please talk to me

Should I call you?

Three seconds later, my phone started ringing and I took a deep breath before hitting the green button.

"Hey," I said, bringing my fingers to my mouth as I started playing with my bottom lip.

I was nervous about this discussion... I was still angry at him and I was just hoping he was going to say the right things.

"Katy, I'm really sorry, I know it wasn't the right thing to do but..." he left his sentence unfinished and I closed my eyes tightly as I tried not to sound too cold.

"But what?"

"I... Katy, I... He's... I really don't get why you would forgive him... He's done terrible things to you, and all he has to do is talk to you for a second and you're willing to just forget it all... I mean, it took you a lot longer to forgive me for hitting Chris the first time I saw him!" he explained and I turned over so that I was lying on my back and looked at the ceiling.

"This isn't a competition," I sighed.

"It feels like one. You're his soulmate just as much as you are mine, so yes, this is a competition."

"Why do you always seem to forget that YOU are my soulmate, and that he isn't?" I asked and it took him a few seconds the reply.

"Because you never really seem to put me first," he quietly replied and I parted my lips as I sat up and leaned against my bedpost.

"That's just not true," I protested.

"We really shouldn't be doing this over the phone," he muttered and I didn't answer. "The only time you put me before him was the day he actually kissed you. But besides that, you put him first at the very beginning at our relationship, which I can understand because he was your best friend. But he has hurt you and I've been trying my very hardest to be a good boyfriend but he still comes first."

"I actually wanted to discuss it with you, but you didn't even let me tell you this."

"I know, and I was wrong and I'm sorry... But when I asked you, you said you were considering it," he pointed out.

"Yes, because I was, because I am... But that doesn't mean I had made my decision... I wanted to discuss it with you and then decide," I informed him and I heard him take a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line.

"I'm really sorry..." he replied and I knew he was starting to understand.

"Can we talk about it now?" I asked, "Or maybe you should sleep and we'll talk about it tomorrow?" I sweetly added

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep, anyway," he answered and I nodded in agreement.

"Okay, so... What do you think about it all?" I hesitantly asked.

"I think that... I mean, first of all, we don't know whether he's saying the truth or not... And I feel like even if he is, you should let it to the police to decide whether he deserves to go down for it or not..."