The Fortunate

35

URSULA

"Wake up!" someone wiggled my shoulders.

Nang idilat ko ang mga mata ko ay agad akong sinalubong ng masasamang tingin ni Joaquin. He's just with his shorts and sleeveless shirt on at kung makatingin siya sa'kin ay parang nakalabag ako sa 10 Commandments.

"Bakit d'yan ka natulog?" he asked me.

Bumangon ako sa pagkahiga, "May katabi ka namang ibang babae kagabi, anong iniinarte mo?" I giggled, but then I suddenly sneezed.

Mukhang sisipunin pa nga ako. Naalala kong wala pala akong ibang suot kung hindi bathrobe lang, at napakalamig pa rito sa living room.

"Oh?" I checked myself at napansin kong may tuyong dugo galing sa paa ko. Nagkaroon pa nga ito ng pasa dahil sa sama ng pagkatapilok ko kagabi.

"You should've used the guest room," bahagya nalang akong napatawa sa inakto niya.

He's not sorry, wala siyang pakialam kahit makita ko siyang may kasamang iba. I should endure it, wala naman sa'ming dalawa ang bukal sa loob tungkol sa kasal.

Pero bakit sobrang sakit?

I stood up, I held his shoulders and slightly pinched them. He stood still, "Nasaan na siya?" I asked as I look at the kiss marks on his skin.

"She already left," he casually told me.

I nodded, bahagyang hinahagod ang mga balikat niya, "Kwento mo naman sa'kin, namiss kita eh,"

I gulped after hearing how my voice cracked. "A-ang nakita ko lang kasi, hinalikan ka niya," I moved closer. My trembling lips tried to kiss his neck even though it feels so sick.

My lips landed on the visible marks made by the lady he slept with. I want to spit, hindi maganda ang ginagawa ko sa sarili ko.

He grabbed my jaw and kissed my lips. His other hand tried to slip down my bathrobe. It's been so long since the last time we kissed. Pero hindi ito ang tamang panahon para roon!

I heaved a deep breath and tried my best not to kiss him back. I pushed him when he insisted to remove my robe, he knows I have nothing underneath. "Nabitin ka ba sa kaniya?" I sarcastically asked.

"My wife fucks me better--" I slapped his face.

He is disgusting. I married a disgusting man.

He just slept with other woman, why am I demonstrating what I saw? Wala naman siyang pakialam. I gave up and just looked down, crying. "Sorry," I apologized.

"Bakit mo ginagawa sa'kin 'to?" I asked him. Tumingin ako sa kaniya pero kagaya ng inasahan ko, hindi niya ako tinitignan.

"If you can't give me a child then I can let other lady give me one," he told me while looking on the side. "Ikaw mismo ang nagsabi sa'kin na okay lang sa'yong magkaanak ako sa iba," he muttered.

Napatawa ako, I wiped my nostrils. Parang magbabara pa nga ang sipon ko. "Tama ka, pero sa dami mong nasiping baka nagkasakit ka na, paano kung baog ka pala?" I asked.

He scoffed, "Then do it with other men. I don't think you're pure enough. Don't act so holy," he shrugged. He doesn't care, kahit magka-STD pa siya.

"Hindi okay 'yon para sa'kin!" I screamed.

"Hindi ako katulad mo," nanghihina ang tuhod ko sa sama ng pakiramdam. "Joaquin, kahit pilit lang 'tong atin, never kong naisip na ipagpalit ka sa kahit sino,"

"Of course, because of my fortunes," sa sobrang inis ko ay kumapit ako nang mahigpit sa suot niyang sando.

"Joaquin!" I pulled his shirt. "Hindi ko 'to ginagawa dahil sa yaman, gusto ko lang naman, gusto ko lang," I stopped explaining my side and just screamed in frustration.