Scatter Hearts

Entry 4 or something..

I made a few dedications drawn on my wall to Jesus- and spent more time with him today. We watched a movie, actually. -Jesus Revolution. It was cool.

I started hearing hallucinations again today- from the bathroom.. It was a phone clock alarm going off from the next room. The only thing is, - there's only two rooms by the restroom; my room and her uncle's room. the uncle wasn't there today or last night. And her parents room is across the house. my phone was in my hands and no alarm was going off on my end.- It also sounded like a male groaning or something, turning the noise off.

I think I can hear Issac's dimension again. - Or whatever it is, its back. 

Also, Atlas has felt absent lately. When I'm on autopilot its less obvious to my brain - then again, I have stopped paying attention, being more lost in thought most of the time. 

Today I was half-awake, sleeping in VRC, when one of my friends joined me- unannounced. I'm not sure what they wanted but I remember something about wondering why I sleep in VR- which I'm gonna go on red now when I'm sleeping. The only reason I had been on blue for anyone to join was so that Kor or Issac or my siblings can join me if need be or if I wanted them to. 

Oh, and I remember something about wanting me to explain "What's going on". ? Are they talking about most of my channel being back? That's called me dealing with stuff, sir. I don't owe you or anyone else an explanation. I don't answer to anyone but God and the trinity. 

I CAN, but I dont HAVE to. 

 I'm aware I explained the situation on a post on yt, that's so my audience knows whats going on. I also made a post explaining why everything was down and is now mostly back up again. 

If it's about my headset and the RP im gonna lose it.

It's my personal issue that I can't afford stuff despite having a paying job. I'm working on it. 

No. If I'm not sleeping, I will not be on "Tomorrow." I have work. -Yes I work at night, but that means I'm asleep during most of the day!

I will soon have work on Saturdays too, hopefully that means they'll be paying me more.. 

None of my applications I've put in have gotten back to me. I haven't been thinking about a future anymore- I've been painfully chained to the present; frustratingly aware of every drowning second that passes. 

I don't even know why. What changed?