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43

Taylor’s pov

After some time, we both went back downstairs.  I played board games with Logan and Dad while Colby talked to Landon and my grandma.
I kept getting so distracted by the things they were talking about, and from time to time I would stop paying attention to the games when it wasn’t my turn in Monopoly or if I was trying to give hints to someone in Headbandz.

The doorbell rang, and my mother popped out of her seat to go answer the door.  I could smell the pizza as soon as I heard the door close, and the four of us younger people, or “the children” made our way to the kitchen, following the scent of our dinner.

“Yes, pineapple!” I shouted, opening the box to see my long lost pizza soulmate.  I put two slices on a paper plate, and walked back into the living room.  “Dad, there’s pineapple pizza.  You want some?” I asked, poking my head in.

In the light, my father looked very pale.  He was so still that if his eyes were closed I would have thought he was asleep.  But he turned his head to my question, “One slice, please.  I’ll be in in a second,”

I nodded, but I realized that Grams couldn’t help my dad out of the chair.  I turned to set my plate down in the kitchen, but by the time I got back to help him I saw something beautiful.

Colby was helping my dad out of his chair, being gentle and kind.  This is why I didn’t want to be angry at him for what Angelina said about him and Alex being together.

He had a good heart, and he was a good man.  If only Mom would open up to him and see Colby for who he really was, then she would love him like I do.

Love? The second I thought that, the thought scared me so much I had to question myself.  I couldn love him, we haven’t even been together for two weeks.  You can’t love someone that fast, it’s impossible.

I walked back into the kitchen, pulling out a slice of pizza for my father.  By the time everyone moved out of the way to go and eat I was able to pull a seat out for my father, who was walking on his own towards it. 

"Thank you, Taylor,” He smiled at me, and I nodded, sitting at the table with him.

This is where we had always sat, across from each other at the dinner table.  “So,” My dad began after taking a bite of his food, “How’d you meet my daughter?”

It seemed he was talking to Colby, treating me as if I wasn’t in the room but at the same time he wanted me to hear every detail of the conversation.

“Um, my friend’s birthday party,” Colby said, not going into detail, “We just ran into each other and met up the next day,”

I admired how he was able to speak so nonchalantly about a subject I held close to my heart.  If I was the one relaying the story, I would be happier than a kid in a candy shop.

“You still have birthday parties for your friends?” He asked in disbelief.  This is coming from the guy who gets his cards mailed to him and the only present he got was twenty minutes to sleep in.

“We’re a little crazy, Dad,” I said with a tiny smile.

“You haven’t been one to party in a while,” He pointed out quietly.  Colby shot me a questioning look, and I dismissed it with a shake of my head.

“I fell out of the lifestyle,” I explained with a smile.

“Huh,” He huffed, knowing there was more to the story.  My father pretended to know very little about my life, but in reality it felt like he knew everything about it, especially when Ryan was involved.

Except he also liked to pretend he wasn’t dead.

“I haven’t seen your buddies in a while,” My dad sighed, “Remember when Joel accidentally broke your trampoline when he body slammed Ryan on it? His mother was so piss- I mean angry to find out,” He corrected his language when Grandma sent him an annoyed look from across the room.

“Yeah.  That was right before him and Celina moved back to Canada,” I said with a smile. 

“How’s Grayson and Michael?” My dad asked, looking over at Colby, “Have you met her friends?”

“Only Alex,” Colby said with a polite grin, and the look he gave me when my Dad turned his attention back to me showed that I would have some explaining to do later.

“You mean Gray and Mikey, Dad,” I said, reminding him that they went by nicknames ever since they got arrested for a bar fight with Ryan and I.  Colby doesn’t know about that, either.

“Yeah,” He waved off the corrections, “They are the nicest kids.  Gray offered to come out and visit tomorrow, did you know that?”

“No I didn’t,” I left out the fact that I didn’t know because I didn’t talk to them much anymore, “He’s coming?”

“Yeah he is.  Can you believe it?” My dad laughed, elbowing Colby even though he couldn’t find humor in anything my father was saying.

“It’ll be so cool to meet him,” Colby said quietly, before scooting his chair back, “I’m going to go get more pizza,” 

And with that, he left.  I looked at my dad questioningly, and he shrugged. “I’m so happy you two are here,” He said, his voice more serious than before, “You look happier,”

“I am happier,” I shrugged, and he looked up, eyeing me before shaking his head at me.

“He doesn’t know about them, does he?” Dad’s voice was quiet, so quiet I was struggling to hear him.

“What do you mean?” My eyes narrowed in confusion.  The way my father knew things without being told always had baffled me.

“He’s pissed,” He didn’t bother to fix his language this time, “I think if I wasn’t your father he would have told me to stop talking,” My dad didn’t seem too bothered by this, laughing it off.

“Well, he’ll meet Gray tomorrow.  I’ll just have a lot of explaining to do,” I looked down at the table, “He doesn’t know about Ryan,”

My dad took a sip of his tea that must have been left on the table from earlier.  “Why not? That’s a big part of your life, don’t you think he deserves to know?” He said after he set the drink back down.

I looked over at Colby, who was standing with Landon and talking.  He was smiling, and so was my brother so I hoped he wasn’t truly upset.

“I wasn’t going to tell him about you,” I said quickly, looking him up and down, “I just don’t want him to worry about me,”

“Maybe that’s what he wants,” He shrugged, “I think he wants to know everything about you.  And obviously he can’t do that if you won’t explain to him anything about your life before you two met,”

I didn’t know what to say, or what to think.  I never really took into consideration that Colby didn’t necessarily know much about me, even though he said he didn’t.

“He cares a lot about you, just like I do.  I’ve only known him for a couple of hours, and only had one good conversatoin with him.  But when I’m gone,” I sucked in a breath when he said that, surprised he’d even bring up the subject, “I know he will take good care of you,”

“I don’t want you to be gone,” I frowned, feeling like a five year old.  I knew that there would be a day when my father wasn’t around, but I wanted to live every last moment with him until I couldn’t anymore.

“Let’s face it, they found the cancer late,” My father said, “It’s not just thyroid cancer like last time.  I have Leukemia, Taylor.  This is the third time something like this has happened,” He reached across the table, grabbing my hand reassuringly, “I don’t want to go through this again.  You may want me to live, but I don’t want to live if I’m suffering,”

I sniffed, forcing myself not to cry, “I can’t live without you, Dad.  I’m not going to be able to live.  You know what happened to Ryan when his Dad died.”

I didn’t have anyone to make that promise to.  Nobody knew me like Ryan did, and nobody understood my pain like he did.  If something happened to my dad, I wouldn’t be able to make it on my own.

“But you can.  You already are.  You have your whole life ahead of you.  You have good friends, you have a boyfriend who cares a lot about you, and most importantly, you have alcohol,” Dad said with a smile.
I laughed at his comment, wiping my face when I felt moisture under my eyes.

“I will always love you, Taylor.  Never forget that.”