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49

Taylor's pov

Sam left me standing speechless, walking out of Colby's room abruptly.

I glanced over at Colby, who didn't seem to pick up on the interaction between me and his best friend. I caught Corey's eye, however, and I felt frozen in place out of complete confusion.

I didn't understand how Colby could easily admit these things to other people yet when it came to someone who was actually involved in the situation, he didn't say a word.

I went to take a step in their direction, to join the boys in their laughter and drink more alcohol in hopes of forgetting everything temporarily. Realizing that was an unrealistic wish of mine, a simple hope that nobody could fulfill so easily, I briskly walked off after Sam to see if I could get any more answers out of him.

As soon as I left the bedroom, I practically ran into someone. Before I had the chance to apologize and be embarrassed, a very familiar girl squealed in my ear.

"I'm here, Taylor! Welcome back from Texas!" Angelina threw her arms around my neck, and by the smell of her breath and the slight slur of her words I could tell she already had a drink or two.

I tried looking over her shoulder, down over the railing to see if I could spot Sam, and fortunately for him I didn't. I couldn't get a better look, either, because Angelina dragged me back into Colby's room.

She was smart for a tipsy person, I had to give her that. Even with Colby standing less than five feet away from me, I couldn't help but admire her beauty. The gracefulness she possessed almost effortlessly as she threw her head back and laughed at something Jake said to her.

I looked at Colby, and I could feel the smile fading on my face, just a little. He saw it, too. I couldn't tell what could be going through his mind right now: jealousy, disbelief, anger? A little bit of all three?

I couldn't tell you. But what I did know was that he was the only one who could numb the pain that suddenly filled my body. Colby could see it, the way I went from smiling to trying not to cry.

I didn't want to hurt him and I didn't want him to hurt me, but that's what we were doing. He didn't know it, surely, but I did.

I knew what I was doing, but I wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop, because most of the time I look at him or I think of Alex, I'm filled with so much anger and I want to punch a wall.

I wanted that wall to crack, to be a visual display of my heart. Left out for everyone to see.

I reached my hand out for him, letting go of Angelina and allowing myself to be pulled into his body. It felt like we were alone, and that Corey, Jake and Angelina weren't keeping an eye on us as they talked amongst themselves.

I couldn't see them, but Colby must have made a gesture for them to leave because within seconds the room was silent and I heard the snap of the door shutting, signaling we were alone.

I didn't want to cry, I just wanted him to hold me. I didn't know when it would be the last time, and I didn't want anything to happen between us. But I could feel it, deep down. The things I've been repeating in my mind, scared to say it out loud to him: "I don't want to be alone"

He didn't seem to question my rollercoaster of emotions, most likely blaming it on the alcohol, "Hey, hey it's alright. He's alright, we saw him before we left, remember?"

I was confused for a moment as to who he was talking about, but it took another second and a piece of my heart to chip away when I did. He thought I was upset about my father.

Which meant he was still clueless. And the little moment I thought we shared was something simply from my imagination.

"I'm okay," I said, forcing a laugh and looking over at his massive-ass mirror to check my makeup.