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38

Taylor's pov

After the phone call with my father ended, I didn't know what to do. I simply couldn't process the situation. I didn't even know a human could get cancer twice, let alone three times.

I let my head fall against the cushion of the chair being that the chair was the shape of an egg split in half. I brought my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. And I sat for a while, trying to think of anything else besides my father. I didn't want to let this ruin my night, but eventually it got the better of me.

I loved my father, I loved him with everything that I am. Besides Ryan and Alex, my dad was my best friend. I didn't really understand it when he had cancer the first time, and I didn't remember much about it because I was so young. The second time was definitely worse, at least for me since it was only a few months after my parents divorced.

I felt my phone buzz in my hand, and I realized it was Alex. I couldn't hide the news from her, I could never lie to Alex. I answered the phone, and Alex began talking happily on the other side, "Oh, you found your phone, that's fantastic!"

"Yeah," I shrugged, then realized she couldn't see me, "What are you up to?"

"I'm on my way to the store. We ran out of drinks and I was thinking about inviting Mikey and Gray over," Alex said, "What are you doing?"

"I just got off the phone with my dad," I said, not able to keep my father's state to myself any longer, "Alex, he has cancer again,"

I bit my lip as she fell silent. "Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure!" I shouted into the phone before I fell into a heavy-breathiing crying fit, "I'm sorry I'm just stressed and I don't want anything to happen to him,"

I tried taking deeper breaths as she talked, "I know. What are you doing, aren't you at Colby's?"

I swallow, trying to make myself sound more composed, "Yeah, but he's busy editing. I don't want to make him mad,"

"I'm coming over. Get Colby," She decided, and I started shaking my head, then remembered she was only on the phone and couldn't see me.

"No, no don't do that," I stuttered out, "I'll be alright, I promise. I don't want to ruin anything,"

"Taylor, do it before I call him myself," She snapped through the phone, and then I heard a sigh from her, "I'm sorry for snapping, but I'm worried about you,"

"I don't want him to worry about me," I wiped my nose on my sleeve, "I'll just change clothes or something and go downstairs and hang out with the girls,"

"Wait, you're upstairs? Why doesn't he know you're crying?" Alex seemed to be getting annoyed, and that's the last thing I wanted.

"I'm outside. I'm on his balcony and the door's closed," I mumbled, glancing over at him through the clear, glass door. He was facing away from me, and with his headphones on he was unaware of my state, and I was okay with that.

"I'll be there in a couple of minutes, I'm texting Sam to let me in," She said, "I love you, see you in a second," And with that, she hung up the phone.

Now that I was alone, I didn't know what to do. My thoughts kept straying back to my father, and I tried to think about positive things. I'd remember us fishing when we went to visit my grandparents in New Jersey when I was eight. The smile on his face was something I've committed to memory.

But then I thought of him, smiling at me the same, the second time he had cancer. The way he looked in his bed, so alone, in so much pain. I choked out a sob, trying to steady my breathing though it wasn't working.

My phone pinged, and it was Alex, letting me know she'd arrived and she'd be up in a second. I waited, wiping my face as best I could with the bottom of my shirt.

It seemed like she was taking forever to get up to Colby's room and onto the balcony, but in reality it was probably only five minutes or so. That seemed fairly long to get upstairs to where I was, but maybe she was just greeting everyone downstairs.

The second I thought that maybe she was telling everyone downstairs about my father, I began crying once more. I didn't want them to know, I needed to be strong for all of them.

I can't be a crybaby in this house. I can't be the person who is known for crying when something goes wrong. That can't be me.

I heard the door open, and I picked my head up to see Alex, with Colby following her. "I told you not to get him!" I cried out as she sat on the edge of the seat by my feet. Colby ignored what I said, kneeling down and grabbing my hand.

"I can't lose him, Alex. I can't do this again. I-i-" I pulled my hand out of Colby's grasp, covering my face in frustration.

"Hey, look at me," Colby said gently, bringing his hand up and running it through my hair.

I lifted my head out of my hands, turning and looking his way slowly. "Don't think like that, please. Positive thoughts?" He spoke quietly, and I could tell he was trying to distract me by making me think about something else.

"We'll help you get through this, okay Taylor?" Alex said, folding her hands in front of her.

I looked up at her as she spoke, and I couldn't help but notice her lips, looking more plump and red than normal. If I was in a better mood, I would have asked if she had just kissed someone, but as far as I knew she's single.

I'd have to ask her what she puts on her lips later.

"He doesn't deserve this. He didn't deserve it the first time he got it and he doesn't deserve it now," I threw my hands up, letting them fall beside me.

"Nobody does. But everything happens for a reason," Alex said, her voice low and she had a nostalgic look in her eyes. Alopecia is a sickness Alex got when she was five years old, causing all of her body hair to stop growing and the hair she did have, fell out.

To this day, she insists it made her life better, and that "everything happens for a reason"

"He'll be okay. He'll be okay?" I said to myself, repeating it to my best friend and boyfriend for clarification. I knew there was no way they would actually know if he would be okay but I just needed the reassurance.

"I've met your father, Taylor. He's very strong. This will be like nothing to him," Alex smiled, and Colby nodded along. I felt like a child, and they were my parents.

Colby held his hands in front of him, silently asking for me to grant him permission to hold me. I sniffled before nodding, and within seconds I was scooped out of the chair and placed in Colby's lap in the exact spot I had been before.

I set my head down on his chest, sitting sideways in his lap so I could face Alex. I couldn't see Colby's face, but I could see Alex's. There was an odd look there and I definitely knew that she didn't wish to be in Colby's place instead of simply watching him put me back together again.

She's been used to fixing me when I feel broken. So maybe she's just not used to someone else doing it, and doing it better than her.

I couldn't think of any other reason for her eyes to almost be engulfed in jealousy.

And just a little bit of pain.

[a/n: hope you enjoyed! like, comment and vote so i know you like it!]